“Fletch” quotes

(1985)
Movie Fletch
Title Fletch
Year 1985
Director Michael Ritchie
Genre Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Plot – A journalist in the mood of brilliant reports called Fletch often walks around a Los Angeles’ beach, a common place for drug addicts’ meetings. He knows everyone and he has a lot of friends, but the thing he’s sniffing is not "marijuana", but rather a very dangerous track: he is convinced that the local police chief is tangled up in the shady traffic, though he hasn’t the necessary proofs yet. While he investigates, a wealthy industrialist - Stanwick - invites him to his house and asks Fletch to kill him, with handsome profits. He has cancer, a beautiful young wife, a life insurance and he prefers to finish his life with a bullet in the body than into a clinic. Fletch accepts the peculiar assignment and every detail is established. However, Fletch is suspicious and he begins to investigate.
All actors – Chevy Chase, Joe Don Baker, Dana Wheeler-Nicholson, Richard Libertini, Tim Matheson, M. Emmet Walsh, George Wendt, Kenneth Mars, Geena Davis, Bill Henderson, William Traylor, George Wyner
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  • “- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: John Cock... tos... ton.
    - Gail Stanwyk: That's a beautiful name.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, it's Scotch/Romanian.
    - Gail Stanwyk: That's an odd combination.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Yeah, well, so were my parents.”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
    [Tag:name, parents]
  • “- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Why'd you let me in?
    - Gail Stanwyk: Um, because I'm bored.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: If you're so bored, why didn't you go to Utah with Alan?
    - Gail Stanwyk: Well, Utah's not exactly a cure for boredom.”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
    [Tag:boredom]
  • “- Gail Stanwyk: What are you doing here?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I ordered some lunch.
    - Gail Stanwyk: You ordered it here?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, I knew this is where my mouth would be.”

    Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:food, mouth]
  • “Look, defenseless babies!”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
  • “- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I saw Alan this morning and you know what I can't figure out?
    - Gail Stanwyk: Alan's in Utah.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I... can't figure out what I was doing in Utah this morning.”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
  • - Records Nurse: Can I get you something?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Yeah, do you have the Beatles' "White Album"? Never mind, just get me a glass of hot fat. And bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia while you're out there.

    Loraine Shields - Records Nurse
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:head, music, need]
  • “- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: You fellas wanna read me my rights?
    - Detective #1: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped by him.
    [Detective #2 blows Fletch a kiss]
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I'll... waive my rights.”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    Tony Longo - Detective #1
    [Tag:police, rights]
  • “- Detective #1: Got a gun, creep?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Shamu's got one, borrow his.
    - Detective #1: [searching Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher] What have we here?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: That's my dick.”

    Tony Longo - Detective #1
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:weapons]
  • “I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.”
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:police]
  • “- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I was curious about something your wife said when we were in bed together.
    - Alan Stanwyck: Oh? What's that?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: That roughly we have the same build. From the waist up I imagine.”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    Tim Matheson - Alan Stanwyck
    [Tag:body, wife]
  • “- Gail Stanwyk: I really should change.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: No! I think you should stay the same wonderful person you are today.
    - Gail Stanwyk: I mean, put clothes on.”

    Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
  • “- Gail Stanwyk: I didn't know you knew the Underhills.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Yeah, well, I saved his life during the war.
    - Gail Stanwyk: You were in the war?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: No, he was. I got him out.”

    Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:rescue, war]
  • “- Teenager: Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Why? Did you steal the car?
    - Teenager: I sure did.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law.”

    David W. Harper - Teenager
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:cars, crime, theft]
  • “- Alan Stanwyk: You'll be wearing rubber gloves. Do you own rubber gloves?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I rent 'em. I have a lease with an option to buy.”

    Tim Matheson - Alan Stanwyk
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
  • “- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Do you have any caviar?
    - Waiter: Si señor, Beluga, but it is 80 dollars a portion.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, then I better just take two portions of that.”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    Nico De Silva - Waiter
    [Tag:food, money]
  • “- Dr. Joseph Dolan: You know, it's a shame about Ed.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
    - Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was dying for years.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Sure, but... the end was very... very sudden.
    - Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
    - Irwin 'Fletch'...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    M. Emmet Walsh - Dr. Joseph Dolan
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:death]
  • “- Dr. Joseph Dolan: Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I don't know. I don't have any.
    - Dr. Joseph Dolan: No children?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: No elephant books.”

    M. Emmet Walsh - Dr. Joseph Dolan
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:children, name]
  • “- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Can't keep me here, chief.
    - Chief Jerry Karlin: Maybe I'm not going to keep you in here. Maybe I'm going to blow your brains out.
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, now, I'm no lawyer, but I do believe that's a violation of my rights.”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    Joe Don Baker - Chief Jerry Karlin
  • “You using the whole fist, Doc?”

    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:doctors]
  • “- Gail Stanwyck: She looks like a hooker. Look at her. Look at her! Could you love someone who looked like that?
    - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: What are you talking about? Of course not! Five, ten minutes tops, maybe.”

    Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
    Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
    [Tag:appearance, love, sex]
Highlights