“Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” quotes

“- Wayne Szalinski: I shrunk the kids.
- Diane Szalinski: ... What?
- Wayne Szalinski: And the Thompson kids too. They're about this big, they're in the backyard.
-.Diane Szalinski: What?
- Wayne Szalinski: I threw them out with the trash.”

Rick Moranis - Wayne Szalinski
Marcia Strassman - Diane Szalinski

“If you were my brother, I'd put myself up for adoption.”

Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski

“When I was your age, I put on twenty pounds of pure unadulterated blitz-the-quarterback-and-rip-his-head-off muscle, Russell!”
Matt Frewer - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.

“The early worm catches the fish, Russell. Remember that.”
Matt Frewer - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.

“They're never going to believe this at school.”

Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson

“- Wayne Szalinski: Given that my machine can substantially reduce the size of bulky payloads... and fuel supplies of the savings to the space program would be staggering.
- Professor Frederickson: Mr. Szalinski, are you trying to tell me that suddenly size is no longer relative?”
Rick Moranis - Wayne Szalinski
Craig Richard Nelson - Professor Frederickson

“- Amy Szalinski: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
- Nick Szalinski: I don't think we're in the food chain anymore, Dorothy.”
Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski
Robert Oliveri - Nick Szalinski

“- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Everybody in my family is a comedian.
- Mae Thompson: Everybody except you.”
Matt Frewer - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.
Kristine Sutherland - Mae Thompson

“I hope your face ends up on a milk carton.”

Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson

“- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: So, you like to dance huh?
- Amy Szalinski: How do you know?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Well...
- Amy Szalinski: You could see me?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: No, no. Yeah, I could, but I wasn't watching you, I...”
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr
Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski

“- Nick Szalinski: We could be anywhere now.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I think we're still in your yard.
- Nick Szalinski: How do you know?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: In any other yard the grass would be shorter.”
Robert Oliveri - Nick Szalinski
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr

“Your dad will go to jail, your mother too. After all she's the one who paid for it all, that makes her an accomplice. Do you even know what it's like in jail?”
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson

“- Amy Szalinski: I'm not even going to tell you one more time to shut up.
- Ron Thompson: And then what? Then you'll smack me? You'll go to jail too. I'll tell them after a big bee ate my brother you smacked me around. No jury in the world would fail to convict you. The whole Szalinski family is going to be in jail for life...”
Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson

“- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Hey, Szalinski, your lawn's beginning to look like the Amazon.
- Wayne Szalinski: Yeah, producing oxygen, Russ. We all have to do our part. You know how all the jungles are receding everywhere.”
Matt Frewer - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.
Rick Moranis - Wayne Szalinski

“I could eat a corndog the size of a truck.”
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson

“- Ron Thompson: It's just that my dad doesn't understand your dad.
- Amy Szalinski: Your dad doesn't understand anything.”
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson
Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski

“Hey, if we had some rope, we could make a log bridge! If we... If we had some logs.”
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr

“When we crashed, my entire life flashed before my eyes. It didn't take too long.”
Robert Oliveri - Nick Szalinski

“- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Dad, you know that weights aren't my thing.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Weights aren't your thing. Fishing isn't your thing. Just what is your thing?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I don't know. But I'll keep you posted okay?”
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr
Matt Frewer - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.

“Mud is still mud, no matter how small you are.”
Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski

“I just figured it out, I woke up this morning and this is all a bad dream.”
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson

“- Nick Szalinski: Where'd you learn artificial respiration?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: French class, kid.”
Robert Oliveri - Nick Szalinski
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr

“- Ron Thompson: What's a river doing in your backyard?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: It's not a river, dope. It could be a stream of dog pee, and it would look like a river to us.”
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr

“- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I mean, you talked to me once or twice last year. I mean, I would've come by - I wanted to - but... I always thought you were too popular to notice me.
- Amy Szalinski: I was too popular to notice. I was stupid.”
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr
Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski

“- Ron Thompson: Hey Szalinski, ever do anything normal? Like play baseball?
- Nick Szalinski: Nope. Baseball is for mortals.”
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson
Robert Oliveri - Nick Szalinski