“How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog” quotes
(2000)
Title How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog
Year 2000
Director Michael Kalesniko
Genre Drama, Comedy
Year 2000
Director Michael Kalesniko
Genre Drama, Comedy
All actors – Kenneth Branagh, Robin Wright, Suzi Hofrichter, Lynn Redgrave, Jared Harris, Peter Riegert, David Krumholtz, Johnathon Schaech, Kaitlin Hopkins, Suzy Joachim, Brett Rickaby, Lucinda Jenney
show all“How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog” Quotes 20 quotes
“- Peter McGowan: Maybe that's everything in writing: a catchy title.
- Debra Salhany: So is that why you decided to call your first novel 'How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog'?
- Peter McGowan: Oh, that isn't mere affectation. That's a practical guidebook full of juicy bits on suburban terrorism.”“- Larry: You're lucky. You got Melanie. There are men who'd die for her.
- Peter McGowan: Yeah, die for her or have her kill you. Either way, you're dead.”“I met a man yesterday with a grown son. He told me, looking back, he should have raised the placenta instead.”
I think the doorbell's heard my wife shout "I'm coming" more than I have these days.
“- Adam: They say women are the sensitive ones, but I've never seen it. They're as cold as party ice.
- Victoria: I don't think that sucking on countless nipples makes one an authority on sensitivity.”“Do you ever think that if you attack an artist long enough you'll succeed in having him censor himself?”
- Edna: You look just like my son-in-law.
- Peter McGowan: I am your son-in-law, Edna.
- Edna: My son-in-law's name is Peter.
- Peter McGowan: No. I said your name was Edna. My name is Peter.
- Edna: You just said your name was Edna... Edna's a funny name for a man. Been teased over the years?
- Peter McGowan: Mercilessly. "Pete".“- Peter McGowan: Are you drunk or something?
- Larry: What time is it?
- Peter McGowan: Four.
- Larry: Yep.”“Now I know what a Muppet feels like.”
“Seems to me only the intelligent people are choosing not to reproduce.”
“- Melanie McGowan: Maybe you should see a therapist about your anxiety.
- Peter McGowan: That's exactly what I'm afraid of. What if he cures me? Then, I'll have nothing to write about. Nobody wants to know about how happy you are.
- Melanie McGowan: Oh, I don't think you ever have to worry about an over-abundance of happiness, dear.”“Most adults tend to romanticize childhood, which is absolutely delusional. I mean, most childhood fears are as great or more so than adult fears.”
“- Peter McGowan: Can I have a valediction, father?
- Larry: Say four Goly Fuck You's and keep drinking.”“- Victoria: You're an alcoholic.
- Adam: Alcoholics have class. I'm a fucking drunk.”“Other houses have M&Ms, we stock up with Smarties. It's like living at the duty-free-shop at Heathrow.”
“- Debra Salhany: So, how did you meet your wife?
- Peter McGowan: She was a lap dancer, I had a pocket full of singles... No, she was a dancer. For a brief period, she gave acting a try. She came in for an audition, and the rest as they say is histrionics.
- Debra Salhany: So, you employed the casting couch?
- Peter McGowan: Hey, whatever works....” (continue)(continue reading)“- Peter McGowan: You know, to me sex education was always missing the answer to that key question, which was, yeah, how do I get me some? O-B-G-Y-N. What kind of acronym is that? Oh-bee guy'n. It's not really imaginative, I mean, you should come up with something that spells vagina - Vaginal Association of Gynecological Interns Navigating...
-...” (continue)(continue reading)“Hollywood doesn't want writers, so much as secretaries with a flare for dialogue. If you want to be happy in Hollywood, be a cinematographer. Nobody knows what you're doing, so they can't screw with you.”
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