“I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry” quotes

(2007)
Movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Dennis Dugan directed this movie in 2007
Title I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Year 2007
Director Dennis Dugan
Genre Comedy, Romance
Plot – Chuck and Larry are two single and heterosexual friends and work together as firefighters. When both find themselves in economic difficulties, they decide to resolve the situation by defrauding the government pretending to be homosexual. They stage a gay wedding in order to obtain the economic benefits granted to homosexual couples, but for them it's very difficult to live as a couple as they cannot cultivate their sexual orientation and must keep up the appearances. The authorities, their relatives, their friends and the gay community are indeed puzzled.
All actors – Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Dan Aykroyd, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Nicholas Turturro, Allen Covert, Rachel Dratch, Richard Chamberlain, Nick Swardson, Blake Clark
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  • “- Larry Valentine: You know what, I cannot deal with sleeping next to your stupid ugly face tonight, so don't bother coming in the bedroom.
    - Chuck Levine: Oh, wouldn't dream of it, honey!
    - Larry Valentine: You are a lousy best friend, and a shitty husband!
    - Chuck Levine: Hey! For the record, every time I laughed at one of your jokes, I was...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
  • “- Chuck Levine: Larry, look at us, we're not gay! But if we were gay, don't you think I'd be with someone a little hotter-looking than you? I'm Mr February, for God's sake. It would be like the Prom King fooling around with a tuba player.
    - Larry Valentine: Oh great, I play tuba.
    - Chuck Levine: Larry, I love you, but I'm not in love with you,...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
  • “No matter whom we choose to love, be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadrisexual, pansexual, transexual, omnisexual or that thing where the chick ties the belt around your neck and tinkles on a ballon, it has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people.”

    Dan Aykroyd - Captain Phineas J. Tucker
  • “- Alex McDonough: Look at this: sixteen depositions from women who claim to have slept with you over the last year and a half!
    - Larry Valentine: Just sixteen? Thank God the five hundred other ones couldn't read or write.”

    Jessica Biel - Alex McDonough
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
    [Tag:seduction, women]
  • “Now place the ring on his hand. A ring is like a circle, it goes on forever. It's not like a triangle, triangle have corners. It's like a circle.”
    Rob Schneider - Asian Minister
  • “- Larry Valentine: Chuck. What's going on, man?
    - Chuck Levine: Brace yourself, Larry. What I'm gonna tell you is pretty rough. They removed your entire body. You're nothing but a head now.
    - Larry Valentine: What?
    - Chuck Levine: They said that there was enough fat in your head to rebuild you a new body, so they got scientists in the other room...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
    [Tag:head, stupidity]
  • Gay guys know how to dance good. It's like the law or some shit.”
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
  • “Tony! Nice signature. Hey, is that the same one you used to endorse the check that Chuck gave you when you gambled away your mortgage payment on college football? I guess his money wasn't too gay to bail you out or keep your wife from leaving you again.”
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
  • “- Jerky Boy: Mr. Valentine, you said you're a fireman.
    - Larry Valentine: Yes, that is correct.
    - Jerky Boy: Do you have two jobs? Because my dad said that you're also a butt pirate.”

    Connor Wiles - Jerky Boy
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
  • “Nootzie! Hey, remember that time Chuck and I ran back into that textile plant and dragged your limp body out? Even though Chuck's leg was broken like in three different places. Man, that was pretty freaking gay of Chuck, huh?”
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
  • “Why all people think I'm the woman?”
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
  • “- Larry Valentine: Chuck, we really pulled this one out our asses.
    - Chuck Levine: Bad choice of words there, Larry. Bad choice of words.”

    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
  • “Hey, fellas! Hey, heard you guys have been circulating a petition. You mind if I take a look at it? Oh, what do you now, I got it right here. It's impressive, a lot of names! Let's go down the list, see who we got here.”

    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
  • “- Alex McDonough: You know, Larry's heavyset. Is that the kind of guy you've always been attracted to?
    - Chuck Levine: Ah no, he's my first fattie.
    - Alex McDonough: You guys really seem like you have a lot of sexual chemistry.
    - Chuck Levine: I float his boat and he sinks mine.”

    Jessica Biel - Alex McDonough
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
  • “Gentlemen, I have a very simple policy. What you shove up your ass is your own business.”
    Dan Aykroyd - Captain Phineas J. Tucker
    [Tag:privacy]
  • “Renaldo! Man, I remember your first day on the job. Remember you were so scared you actually crapped yourself? And Chuck and I, we snuck you back in here, we cleaned you up so nobody'd find out. You begged us not tell anyone. And did we?”
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
  • “- Asian Minister: Civil or religious?
    - Chuck Levine: Religious. I'm Jewish, I don't wanna piss my mother off.
    - Larry Valentine: I'm Catholic, I don't wanna piss Mel Gibson off.”

    Rob Schneider - Asian Minster
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
  • - Larry Valentine: Domestic partnership.
    - Chuck Levine: Domestic partnership? You mean like faggots?
    - Larry Valentine: No, I mean yeah but, no, not us. Obviously. Just on paper.
    - Chuck Levine: Paper faggots?
    - Larry Valentine: Well, the accepted vernacular is "gay"... but yes.

    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
    Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
  • “Oh look at that, a fire, well I hope it's not a bad one - because the faggot who's been saving your sorry asses is now, thanks to you, working on another shift.”

    Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
Highlights