“Jeffrey” quotes

“- Skip Winkley: Who is your biggest sexual fantasy?
- Barney's Waiter: Denzel Washington.
- Jeffrey: The guy at the gym.
- Sterling: Yoko Ono. ...To see the apartment!”
Robert Klein - Skip Winkley
K. Todd Freeman - Barney's Waiter
Steven Weber - Jeffrey
Sir Patrick Stewart - Sterling

“- Darius: I love the Nutcracker. You know when I was a kid I was always afraid of the dancing mice. Now I'm a cat.
- Sterling: His therapist is ecstatic.”
Bryan Batt - Darius
Sir Patrick Stewart - Sterling

“I love sex. It's just one of the truly great ideas. I mean, just the fact that our bodies have this built-in capacity for joy, oh it makes me love God. Yes!”
Steven Weber - Jeffrey

“Hi, my name is Dave and I am sexually compulsive.”
Ethan Phillips - Dave

“Just think of AIDS as the guest that won't leave, the one we all hate. But you have to remember: hey! It's still our party.”
Bryan Batt - Darius

“- Darius: Who's Martha Stewart?
- Sterling: She writes picture books about gracious living. Martha says that nothing else matters if you can do a nice dried floral arrangement. I worship her.”
Bryan Batt - Darius
Sir Patrick Stewart - Sterling

- Jeffrey: Darius is a dancer. He's in "Cats".
- Sterling: Exactly. I said you needed a boyfriend, not a person.
Steven Weber - Jeffrey
Sir Patrick Stewart - Sterling

“Can I do this, or will I look like some sort of gay superhero?”

Sir Patrick Stewart - Sterling

“- Sterling: Darius once said you were the saddest person he knew.
- Jeffrey: Why did he say that?
- Sterling: Because he was sick. He had a fatal disease. And he was a million times happier than you.”
Sir Patrick Stewart - Sterling
Steven Weber - Jeffrey

“- Jeffrey: Wait! You're really a priest?
- Father Dan: Of course.
- Jeffrey: But... I mean, aren't you supposed to be straight and celibate?
- Father Dan: Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm a catholic priest. Historically, that falls somewhere between chorus boy and florist.”

Steven Weber - Jeffrey
Nathan Lane - Father Dan

I am in "Cats". Now and forever. The way I see it, I was too young for Chorus Line, and too "happy" for Les Mis. I never did get that show. It's about a guy who steals a loaf of bread and then suffers for the rest of his life. For toast! Get over it.
Bryan Batt - Darius

“- Debra Moorhouse: It all goes back to mother, doesn't it? Did you love your mother?
- Acolyte: Yes.
- Debra Moorhouse: Don't lie to me. I'll call her.”
Sigourney Weaver - Debra Moorhouse
Kathy Najimy - Acolyte

“I will find a substitute for sex. Sex Lite. Sex Helper. I Can't Believe It's Not Sex!”
Steven Weber - Jeffrey

“- Church Lady #1: How dare you give up sex when there are children in Europe who can't get a date?
- Church Lady #2: There is only one real blasphemy - the refusal of joy! Of a corsage and a kiss!”
Mary Bond Davis - Church Lady #1
Lenka Peterson - Church Lady #2