“Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy” quotes

“- Psychiatrist: I'm sorry, I don't speak German.
- Depressed German: The nipples of mother fortune have run dry...”

Dave Foley - Psychiatrist

“- Cop #1: Hey, didya see that, uh, Nina Bedford show this morning?
- Cop #2: Yeah, that uh... thing about toast-fucking.
- Cop #1: ...toast-fucking?
- Cop #2: Yeah - it's the new thing where you fuck or get fucked with toast.
- Cop #1: No, the... the show this morning was about that new drug.
- Cop #2: Oh. Must have been a dream I had.”
Mark McKinney - Cop #1
Bruce McCulloch - Cop #2

“- Worm pill scientist: I've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.
- Don Roritor: Uh, right, and what's positive about that?
- Worm pill scientist: Well, it's a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.”
Bruce McCulloch - Worm pill scientist
Mark McKinney - Don Roritor

“- Wally Terzinsky: Doctor, why do those types keep thinking that I'm one of them?
- Psychiatrist: Well, Wally, because you are one of them. You are gay. You are gay. You are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you're gay. I know it. Your family knows it. Dogs know it! Everyone seems to know it except you.”
Scott Thompson - Wally Terzinsky
Dave Foley - Psychiatrist

“- Doreen: Kids, where's your father?
- Wally's daughter : He's upstairs masturbating to gay porn.
- Doreen: Again?”
Kevin McDonald - Doreen
Erica Fairfield - Wally's daughter

“- Doreen: Were the handcuffs totally necessary, officer?
- Cop #1: Well, actually, that was your husband's idea.”
Kevin McDonald - Doreen
Mark McKinney - Cop #1