“Legally Blonde” quotes

“Any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment.”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“- Enrique: Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey.
- Elle Woods: These aren't last season!
[looks down, gasps, runs back into court room]
- Elle Woods: He's gay! Enrique is gay!”

Greg Serano - Enrique
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“Last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“- Elle Woods: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
- Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods
James Read - Elle's Father

“- Brooke Taylor Windham: Are you one of my lawyers?
- Elle Woods: Sort of.
- Brooke Taylor Windham: Well thank God one of you has a brain.”
Ali Larter - Brooke Taylor Windham
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
[someone whistles at her]
I object!”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“- Elle Woods: You're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
- Warner: Well, no. That's not entirely true...
- Elle Woods: Then what? My boobs are too big?”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods
Matthew Davis - Warner

“- Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?
- Elle Woods: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

On my very first day at Harvard, a very wise professor quoted Aristotle, "the law is reason-free from passion"! Well, no offense to Aristotle, but in my three years at Harvard, I have come to find passion is the key ingredient to the study and practice of law, and of life.

Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“- Emmett: And your boyfriend's name is...
- Enrique: Chuck.
- Emmett: Right.
[everyone gasps and laughs]
- Enrique: Pardon me, pardon me. I thought you said friend; Chuck is just a friend.”
Luke Wilson - Emmett
Greg Serano - Enrique

“- Emmett: I can't believe you just called me a butthead. I don't think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade.
- Elle Woods: Maybe not to your face.”
Luke Wilson - Emmett
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“- Elle Woods: I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood.
- Professor Callahan: Screw sisterhood! This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house!”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods
Victor Garber - Professor Callahan

“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“- Margot: My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
- Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
- Margot: Yeah... luckily!”
Jessica Cauffiel - Margot
Alanna Ubach - Serena

“A legal education means you will learn to speak in a new language. You will be taught to achieve insight into the world around you. And to sharply question what you know.”
Holland Taylor - Professor Stromwell

I was first in my class at Princeton, I have an I.Q. of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his "Brief History of Time"…from my fourth grade paper.
Kelly Nyks - Arrogant Aaron