“Major Payne” quotes
(1995)
Title Major Payne
Year 1995
Director Nick Castle
Genre Comedy, Adventure, Family
Year 1995
Director Nick Castle
Genre Comedy, Adventure, Family
Plot – Major Benson Payne joined the Army aware that he would have never be involved in an act of war. He has a rigid military mentality and he is the boogeyman of the whole army. When a group of recruits arrives, Benson is eager to teach them his training methods.
All actors – Damon Wayans, Michael Ironside, Scott Bigelow, Joseph Blaire, Orlando Brown, Peyton Chesson-Fohl, Stephen Coleman, Mark Conway, David DeHart, Joshua Todd Diveley, Robert Faraoni Jr., Michael Gabel
show all“Major Payne” Quotes 13 quotes
“- Cadet Alex Stone: It's slippery!
- Maj. Benson Payne: Slippery he says. You think Charlie cares anything about slippery? The only thing he knows is to slip your throat. What if this were a life or death situation?
- Cadet Alex Stone: But it's not a life or death situation.
- Maj. Benson Payne: [pulls out grenade and pulls the pin] It is now.”“- Emily Walburn: Apparently he had a little accident.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants.
- Emily Walburn: Well maybe that's because he's six.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Because he's six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.”- Maj. Benson Payne: Maybe I like you.
- Emily Walburn: Just like?
- Maj. Benson Payne: Maybe I like you a lot.
- Emily Walburn: That's it?
- Maj. Benson Payne: Don't push the "maybes", baby.“Killing is my business, and business is good!”
“You know there ain't no pets allowed on this premises, Mr. Ace Ventura.”
“- Emily Walburn: Major Payne, can you please help me to understand why you shaved the children bald?
- Maj. Benson Payne: Oh, that's my little incentive program. These boys have to earn their do... their hair-do that is. Heh, heh, heh.”“- Emily Walburn: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic asshole!
- Maj. Benson Payne: I ain't frigid.”“I never said family don't break up. Don't you watch Oprah?”
“- Emily Walburn: How about you? Was there ever a Ms. Payne?
- Maj. Benson Payne: Negative. I figure if the Marines wanted me to have a wife, they would've issued me one.”“You'll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis!”
“- Maj. Benson Payne: Here I got somethin' for ya. [puts a piece of metal in Emily Walburn's hand]
- Emily Walburn: What is it?
- Maj. Benson Payne: A bullet. It's somethin' special. It's from my heart.
- Emily Walburn: Really? Well, where did you get it?
- Maj. Benson Payne: From my heart, left ventricle; took it out myself with a field knife.”
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