“My First Mister” quotes

“- Randall - 'R': Listen to me very carefully. I am not getting a fucking tattoo.
- Jennifer - 'J': Oooh, you said the really bad word.
- Randall - 'R': Yeah, I did. I am in fact the boy who cried fuck.”
Albert Brooks - Randall - 'R'
Leelee Sobieski - Jennifer - 'J'

“So much stuff, so little time to snoop.”
Leelee Sobieski - Jennifer - 'J'

“I'd like to propose a toast to all the special 'f' words - to friends, family, fate, forgiveness, and forever.”
Leelee Sobieski - Jennifer - 'J'

“Fun? Fun was dropping acid in the 60's. Fun was streaking at my sister's prom. Fun was staging a sit-in at a titty bar on Sunset. This... this is very bad Fellini we're about to enter into.”
John Goodman - Benjamin

“- Randy Harris, Jr.: Shut up, Sybil. Shut up.
- Jennifer - 'J': Sybil?
- Randy Harris, Jr.: Yeah, you know Sybil? The woman with eight home phone numbers? It's not necessarily a bad thing. A plethora of personalities can be very enchanting.
- Jennifer - 'J': Fuck you.
- Randy Harris, Jr.: Fuck you.
- Jennifer - 'J': Fuck you!
- Randy Harris, Jr....” (continue)(continue reading)
Desmond Harrington - Randy
Leelee Sobieski - Jennifer - 'J'

“Death touched her lips to say goodbye and to always remember the man who touched her first, touched her with his heart. That is forever hers, my first mister. A man of few words. Life of more questions than answers. He awoken me my heart which beats stronger because of him and all that he has left me.”
Leelee Sobieski - Jennifer - 'J'

“- Randall - 'R': I want you to go to college. It's really important, okay?
- Randy Harris, Jr.: Did you?
- Randall - 'R': Yes.
- Randy Harris, Jr.: What did you learn?
- Randall - 'R': Give me a second, I'll think of it.”

Albert Brooks - Randall - 'R'
Desmond Harrington - Randy

“- Randall . 'R': What's he like?
- Jennifer - 'J': Oh, he's kinda like you.
- Randall - 'R': He's an asshole?
- Jennifer - 'J': Oh worse than that. He's a pathetic loser asshole.”

Albert Brooks - Randall - 'R'
Leelee Sobieski - Jennifer - 'J'

“Technically I'm still a virgin. There was this one day in third grade when Matthew Kingsley came over and we played doctor. He confused my vagina with my anus and took my temperature with a fire engine red crayon. From then on whenever I'd hear a siren I'd giggle.”
Leelee Sobieski - Jennifer - 'J'