“Nate and Hayes” quotes

“- Count Von Rittenberg: Captain Hayes!
- Captain Bully Hayes: Admiral!
- Count Von Rittenberg: Count!
- Captain Bully Hayes: Whatever!”

Grant Tilly - Count Von Rittenberg
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes

“- Count Von Rittenberg: We intend to sign and honor a treaty.
- Ben Pease: King Oatopi of Ponape never signed a treaty with nobody. He's an evil bastard. Practices incest on his own offspring, eats human flesh, sacrifices his enemies. You ever show your pink, little behind around there, he'll have you screwed, tattooed and served up with an...” (continue)(continue reading)
Grant Tilly - Count Von Rittenberg
Max Phipps - Ben Pease

“- Captain Bully Hayes: Not much of a drinker, are you?
- Nathaniel Williamson: No.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Well, it's a useful habit sometimes.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes
Michael O'Keefe - Nathaniel Williamson

“I never flew the skull and crossed bones. That's for your fictioneers. But I have sought pleasure and profit all my life at sea without regard for any man's law. That's not to say I didn't have my morals and standards. I got morals and standards. I never killed anyone who didn't have it coming. I never cheated an honest man. I never pillaged and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes

“- Captain Bully Hayes: Are you putting down in that book that I'm a pirate?
- Writer: Well, in a manner of speaking, I suppose one could say that I am, yes.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Good! Because I am! And a damn good one too.”

Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes

“- Captain Bully Hayes: If you want Ben, you don't knock on his front door.
- Nathaniel Williamson: He wouldn't answer?
- Captain Bully Hayes: He'd blow your brains out.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes
Michael O'Keefe - Nathaniel Williamson

“- Count Von Rittenberg: Why is it so cold?
- Ben Pease: I wouldn't ask too many questions about Ponape. You wouldn't like the answers.
- Count Von Rittenberg: I don't like this place.
- Ben Pease: But it'll still make a nice port for your Fatherland. Cold, evil, nasty but cheap.”
Grant Tilly - Count Von Rittenberg
Max Phipps - Ben Pease

“- Nathaniel Williamson: You knew what you were doing in Samoa. It would have worked out if it wasn't for me.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Oh, don't feel badly 'cause you don't know your way around a whorehouse.”
Michael O'Keefe - Nathaniel Williamson
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes

“Can't trust women - even when they're dead!”
Max Phipps - Ben Pease

- Nathaniel Williamson: I was very quick to judge you.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Aw, what do they say, son? Don't judge unle... no, let's see, judge not, judge not, judge ye not...
- Nathaniel Williamson: "Judge not lest ye be judged". Matthew 7, verse 1.
Michael O'Keefe - Nathaniel Williamson
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes

“Moaka, please do not refer to the reverend and I as Big Man God and Mama Jesus Christ. You're putting your soul in jeopardy.”
Kate Harcourt - Mrs. Williamson

“- Ben Pease: You should feel flattered, missy. Not everyone gets offered to the gods.
- Sophie: Just the women.”
Max Phipps - Ben Pease
Jenny Seagrove - Sophie