“Osmosis Jones” quotes
(2001)
Title Osmosis Jones
Year 2001
Directors Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
Genre Comedy, Crime, Adventure, Family, Fantasy, Animation, Action
Year 2001
Directors Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
Genre Comedy, Crime, Adventure, Family, Fantasy, Animation, Action
Plot – Frank works at the zoo, he is sickly, dirty, messy and lives with his teenage daughter. One day Frank gets a virus - the Thrax - from a monkey and it begins to cause him serious troubles, growing inside his body. Someone tries to stop its advance: Osmosis Jones is a leukocyte policeman who helps as a medicinal pill. Along the way, Osmosis meets Doug, a fireman, then a shell fruit that is late. Meanwhile Frank, although he feels very badly, goes to Buffalo with her daughter at the fried chicken wings festival. This time he is hospitalized and he is going to die, because Osmosis Jones left for a while, going on the fake eyebrow of the daughter. Osmosis goes back inside thanks to a tear of the girl, so Frank recovers and Osmosis Jones, as a reward for his brilliant operation, is admitted again to the special unit of immune control.
All actors – Chris Rock, Laurence Fishburne, David Hyde Pierce, Brandy Norwood, William Shatner, Ron Howard, Kid Rock, Kenny Olson, Jason Krause, Joe C., Stefanie Eulinberg, Jimmie Bones
show all“Osmosis Jones” Quotes 25 quotes
“Nice genes. You got the chromosomes in all the right places.”
Good evening, citizens of Frank. In the past few weeks of the campaign, my opponent has thrown around a lot of fancy words to try to confuse the issues. Words like "exercise", "low-fat", and "diet" - words designed to scare us into changing what has worked for so many years. Well, I say let's stay the course. Remember, a fat Frank is a happy Frank.
“Excuse me sir, would you like to see a free screening? We've got a live theaterbroadcasting dreams all the way from the subconscious in the brain.”
“- Osmosis Jones: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
- Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
- Osmosis Jones: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
- Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
- Osmosis...” (continue)(continue reading)“- Drix: Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedrimine... Drixenol! The brand that eases your coughs and sneezes. Warning - do not exceed recommended dosage. If symptoms persist, consult a physician. May cause drowsiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery. Pregnant women should not handle broken tablets.
- Osmosis Jones: Wow! I'm feeling better...” (continue)(continue reading)“Your mother - God bless her soul - didn't believe the old-fashioned ideas about nursing and breast-feeding and all that. Uh-uh. You were fed cheeseburgers as a baby, and look at you. You're as big as a house, you're as strong as a bull, you smell like a cow. Your cholesterol's probably a little high, but they have medicince for that now; you can...” (continue)(continue reading)
“You keep those ideas inside that mushy little head of yours, or you'll find yourself in our next nosebleed?”
“99 kinds of wings! 128 different dipping sauces! You love math, crunch the numbers on that - and tell me the possibilities aren't infinite!”
“- Osmosis Jones: Drix! Yo, Drix! Get your time-released butt off this boat. Thrax is alive! Let's go!
- Drix: I'm sorry, Osmosis, I can't help you.
- Osmosis Jones: Excuse me?
- Drix: I wasn't designed to combat a virus. Read my label.
- Osmosis Jones: You gotta learn to think outside the pill box, man. I've known sugar pills who cured cancer,...” (continue)(continue reading)“- Osmosis Jones: I never thought you'd be on my side!
- Drix: I never thought you'd be right.”“- Librarian: La Muerte Roja, that's Spanish. It means the Red Death.
- Osmosis Jones: The Red Death? What's that? Some kind of taco sauce?”“- Leah: Jones, what in the world makes you think I would ever go out with you?
- Osmosis Jones: What you talking about? I'm a legend, girl! The chicks line up to divide with me!
- Leah: Oh really? 'Cause to me you look like the kind of cell who mostly divides with himself.”“Ebola? Let me tell you something about Ebola, baby. Ebola is a case of dandruff compared to me!”
“- Drix: Where did you study?
- Osmosis Jones: Study? When you grow up on the wrong side of the digestive track, you ain't got no money for no fancy schools.”“Medical books aren't written about losers!”
“- Leah: Wow, this is huge.
- Osmosis Jones: Don't be all impressed, 'cause 99% of that is just sugar you know.
- Leah: Yeah, and 99% of you is just stupid.
- Osmosis Jones: Ooh, like I haven't heard that one before.”
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