“Paul Blart: Mall Cop” quotes

“Safety never takes a holiday.”
Kevin James - Paul Blart

“All right. You've all completed the written exam. However, you must now pass the obstacle course to be admitted into the training program. And remember, survive this, and you're on the front lines of keeping New Jersey safe.”
Bas Rutten - Drill Instructor

“What are you trained to do? Nothing...”

Kevin James - Paul Blart

“No one wins with a headbutt.”
Kevin James - Paul Blart

“It's like my mother always said, if you want something done right, waste them yourself. I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.”
Keir O'Donnell - Veck Simms

“- Paul Blart: This lemonade is insane!
- Vijay: That's because it's a Margarita, Paul.”
Kevin James - Paul Blart
Erick Avari - Vijay

“If you remember one thing from today, it's this: the mind is the only weapon that doesn't need a holster.”
Kevin James - Paul Blart

- Maya Blart: Okay, next question. "Tell me about yourself".
- Paul Blart: Let's see. I know a lot about sharks.
- Mom: Let me stop you right there.

Raini Rodriguez - Maya
Kevin James - Paul Blart

- Veck Sims: When are you gonna give up, Blart?
- Paul Blart: How about now? I'll meet you on the corner of "Ne" and "Ver"!
Keir O'Donnell - Veck Simms
Kevin James - Paul Blart