“Problem Child 2” quotes

(1991)
Movie Problem Child 2
Title Problem Child 2
Year 1991
Director Brian Levant
Genre Comedy, Family
Plot – Junior is ten-years-old and goes to live with his adoptive father Ben in Mortville. It's a quiet town full of divorced women who find the man very interesting, but none of them can deal with his problem child. The only one that would fit Ben's "situation" is Annie Young, who has a pestiferous daughter too.
All actors – John Ritter, Michael Oliver, Jack Warden, Laraine Newman, Amy Yasbeck, Ivyann Schwan, Gilbert Gottfried, Paul Willson, Alan Blumenfeld, Charlene Tilton, James Tolkan, Martha Quinn, Zach Grenier, Eric Edwards, Krystle Mataras, Tiffany Mataras, Dennis Redfield, Bill Warren, Kristina Simonds, Aaron Vaughn, Denise Lecce, Nancy Duerr, Tom Nowicki, Ric Reitz, Bill Cordell, Hillary Matthews, Bob Small, Danny Gura, Carla Kneeland, Tabetha Thomas, Paul Sutera, Buddy Stoccardo, Jillian Amburgey, Adam Brock, Christopher Oyen, Danny Hanemann, Brett Rice, Shaun Padgett, Aimee Deshayes, Tammy Boalo, Danielle Meierhenry, Elaine Klimaszewski, Diane Klimaszewski, June Foray, Carol French, Carrell Myers, Angie McKnight, Katie Prestwood, Laura O'Connell, Tim Powell, Barclay, Bob Smith, Crystal Hunt, Tim Rerucha, L.A. Rothman
show all
  • “- Junior Healy: Are you the guy that married Debbie Claukinski?
    - Voytek: Yes. She took my house, my money and my pride.
    - Junior Healy: I thought you'd like to know, she found herself a new guy, and their out at the St. Pierre club, having fun at your expense.”

    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    Zach Grenier - Voytek
  • “- Ben Healy: Junior, now you get out of this car! You are going to school.
    - Junior Healy: No way I'd rather eat a turd!”

    John Ritter - Ben Healy
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    [Tag:school]
  • Listen here you little monster! I am gonna marry your daddy. And then you'll be on the next plane to boarding school. In Baghdad!”
    Laraine Newman - Lawanda Dumore
  • “I hate children. They ruin everything. If I had enough power, I'd wipe them off the face of the earth.”
    Laraine Newman - Lawanda Dumore
    [Tag:children, hatred]
  • “- Junior Healy: Dad, can we go? These people are real idiots.
    - Aron Burger: Excuse me, Your Highness. I didn't realize that simple little me and my simple little family weren't good enough for your high and mighty tastes. Hey, I should go and slip on my silk tuxedo and then we can trot out the champagne and the escargots.”

    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    Alan Blumenfeld - Aron Burger
  • “- Trixie Young: You're gonna wish you'd never been born.
    - Junior Healy: Ooh! I'm really scared. I'm being threatened by the Tidy Bowl girl!”

    Ivyann Schwan - Trixie Young
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    [Tag:fear, threat]
  • “- Lawanda Dumore: What is that man doing?
    - Ben Healy: I'm 'Big' Ben Healy. I live here.
    - Lawanda Dumore: You live in that tree?”

    Laraine Newman - Lawanda Dumore
    John Ritter - Ben Healy
    [Tag:house, trees]
  • “- Murph: Who let the baby into the sixth grade? What's in your bag? Your diapers?
    - Junior Healy: No, my lunch, you pin-head.”

    Eric Edwards - Murph
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
  • “No! Not another one! How many kids are they gonna make me teach?”

    James Tolkan - Mr. Thorn
  • “- Junior Healy: Shut your trap.
    - Ben Healy: You're an evil boy. And you've gotta learn to respect your elders. If your old man won't teach you some manners, by god I will.”

    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    John Ritter - Ben Healy
  • “- Junior Healey: What are you getting onto me for? I didn't do anything. I just watched it.
    - Ben Healey: Yes, and so did the entire neighborhood.
    - Junior Healey: I didn't hear any complaints.”

    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    John Ritter - Ben Healy
  • “- Ben Healy: Junior, you remember Ms. Klaukinski.
    - Junior Healy: How could I forget? Her pie gave us the runs.”

    John Ritter - Ben Healy
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    [Tag:food, remembrance]
  • “- Junior Healy: My dad said the 3rd grade is the foundation of my education.
    - Mr. Peabody: Your dad said that. Your dad is a moron. He's a moron, you know what a moron is? That's what your dad is.”

    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody
  • “I know I told dad I wouldn't hurt Lawanda, but I never said the dog couldn't.”

    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
  • “- Mr. Thorn: Murph! What's 3 plus 2?
    - Murph: Mmmmm... 4.
    - Mr. Thorn: Murph, you've been in the 6th grade since I started teaching here, I really want to get you out this year. Now, please, please work with me. What's 3 plus 2?”

    James Tolkan - Mr. Thorn
    Eric Edwards - Murph
  • “- Trixie Young: I wouldn't do that if I were you!
    - Junior Healy: If I were you I wouldn't do a lot of things, like go out in public.”

    Ivyann Schwan - Trixie Young
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    [Tag:doing, insult]
  • “- Murph: You don't know who you're talking to. I'm a senior student at this school.
    - Junior Healy: No shit, you've been here since 1970.”

    Eric Edwards - Murph
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
  • “- Ben Healy: Junior, now you get out of this car. You are going to school!
    - Junior Healy: I'd rather jump off a cliff.”

    John Ritter - Ben Healy
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
    [Tag:school]
  • “- Trixie Young: I think your dad likes my mom. Usually when a guy does that, I hit him with a car and I knock him down the stairs, I've gotta look out for her. But your dad, he doesn't bug me so much.
    - Junior Healy: And you know something? Your mom doesn't bug me so much.”

    Ivyann Schwan - Trixie Young
    Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
Highlights