“Psycho Beach Party” quotes

“- Bettina Barnes: Another lousy sci-fi flick. Berdine, I just can't identify with the Rat-Faced Girl from Mars.
- Berdine: Is it really that bad?
- Bettina Barnes: Honey, Lassie could fart out a better script.”
Kimberley Davies - Bettina Barnes
Danni Wheeler - Berdine

- Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: She says when she comes to she doesn't really remember anything that happened, but... she thinks when she's out, she's really out, I mean, like out of her bird. Well, what do you think?
- Starcat: It's not professional to give an instant diagnosis, but I'd say she's probably suffering from morbidly psychotic... (continue)(continue reading)
Lauren Ambrose - Florence 'Chicklet' Forrest
Nicholas Brendon - Starcat

“- Captain Monica Stark: Strange that the victim had only one testicle stuffed in his mouth. I believe they usually come in pairs.
- Cookie: Well, that's cuz he only had one. I checked. Plenty of meat, only one potato.”
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark
Jenica Bergere - Cookie

“I've had a man's hairy balls since I was 8. It's the source of my power. They tell me the weather, time of day, if there's a pile-up on Route 66.”
Nathan Bexton - T.J.

“Guys only want one thing. I'm going to the snack bar, want a wiener?”
Lauren Ambrose - Florence 'Chicklet' Forrest

“- Provoloney: Why you picking on us? We didn't do nothin' wrong.
- Captain Monica Stark: Because I don't like you. Don't like the way ya talk. I don't like the way ya walk. Don't like ya haircut. You kids think ya own this beach - think it's a teenage world. Well, you're dead wrong!”
Andrew Levitas - Provoloney
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark

“- Captain Monica Stark: Mrs. Forrest, what were you doing at 9 PM last night?
- Mrs. Forrest: What any woman should be doing at 9 PM. Needlepoint!”
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark
Beth Broderick - Mrs. Ruth Forrest

“I've never been to an orgy before. What do I wear?”
Lauren Ambrose - Florence 'Chicklet' Forrest

- Berdine: No one understands Bettina. Her screen persona is a brilliant comment on the socio-political structure of stardom.
- Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: You get all that from "The Pizza Waitress with Three Heads"? I guess we are the only ones watching the movie.
Danni Wheeler - Berdine
Lauren Ambrose - Florence 'Chicklet' Forrest

“Surfing's a man's domain. No minnows in the shark tank.”
Nicholas Brendon - Starcat

“- Dr. Edwards: The assailant is highly sophisticated, yet childlike. Vulnerable but canny. Capable of both tenderness and extreme brutality. The murderer is highly intelligent, yet strangely out of touch with reality. Sexual, yet surprisingly innocent. This individual has an insatiable craving for normalcy, which will make your investigation all...” (continue)(continue reading)
Richard Fancy - Dr. Edwards
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark

- Starcat: You don't know what it's like having everybody think you're the golden boy - perfectly smart, perfectly athletic. You can't imagine the pressure.
- Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: And I thought all those people starving in India had it bad.
Nicholas Brendon - Starcat
Lauren Ambrose - Florence 'Chicklet' Forrest

“I'm no mere chick! I'm a goddess! And the first thing I'm gonna sacrifice are ya balls, sonny!”
Lauren Ambrose - Florence 'Chicklet' Forrest

- Kanaka: Mistress Ann, I've been a bad boy.
- Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: And bad boys get spanked. Bad boys get tortured!
Thomas Gibson - Kanaka
Lauren Ambrose - Florence 'Chicklet' Forrest

“- Berdine: They look like beatniks, should I unpack my bongos?
- Marvel Ann: I intend to unpack mine.”
Danni Wheeler - Berdine
Amy Adams - Marvel Ann

“- Captain Monica Stark: Ms. Barnes, why am I feeling a sense of deja vu?
- Bettina Barnes: I have a breath mint in my purse, sweetie - will that help?”
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark
Kimberley Davies - Bettina Barnes