“Raising Arizona” quotes

“- Evelle: These blow up into funny shapes and all?
- Nice Old Grocery Man: Well no... unless round is funny.”

William Forsythe - Evelle
Charles 'Lew' Smith - Nice Old Grocery Man

“All right, boy, I guess you got a reward coming. Twenty-five thousand dollars. Or, if you need home furnishings, I can give you a line of credit at any of my stores. In fact, that's the way I'd rather handle it. Tax reasons.”
Trey Wilson - Nathan Arizona, Sr.

“- H.I. McDunnough: Need a beer, Glen?
- Glen: Does the Pope wear a funny hat?”
Nicolas Cage - H.I. McDunnough
Sam McMurray - Glen

“I think the wife and me are splitting up. Her point is that were both kind of selfish and unrealistic, so we're not really good for each other.”
Nicolas Cage - H.I. McDunnough

“Cops won't find your boy. A cop couldn't find his butt if it had a bell on it.”
Randall 'Tex' Cobb - Leonard Smalls

“I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.”
Nicolas Cage - H.I. McDunnough

- Prison Counselor: Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body?
- 'Trapped' Convict: Well, sometimes I get them menstrual cramps real hard.
Peter Benedek - Prison Counselor
Ruben Young - Trapped' Convict

“If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass a- hoppin'.”
Trey Wilson - Nathan Arizona, Sr.

“Name's Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny... only I ain't got no friends.”
Randall 'Tex' Cobb - Leonard Smalls

“You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.”
Randall 'Tex' Cobb - Leonard Smalls

“- Gale: Well, sometimes your career's gotta come before family.
- Evelle: Work's what's kept us happy.”
John Goodman - Gale
William Forsythe - Evelle

They said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?". Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
Sam McMurray - Glen

“- Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.
- Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...”
John Goodman - Gale
Rusty Lee - Feisty Hayseed

- FBI Agent: Sir, we discovered you were born Nathan Huffheins.
- Nathan Arizona, Sr.: Yeah, I changed my name. What of it?
- FBI Agent: Can you give us an indication why?
- Nathan Arizona, Sr.: Would you shop at a store called "Unpainted Huffheins"?
Trey Wilson - Nathan Arizona, Sr.

- Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing". I'm talkin' about wife swappin'. I'm talkin' about what they call nowadays open marriage. I'm talk...
- H.I. McDunnough: [knocks Glen to the ground with a punch] Keep... (continue)(continue reading)
Sam McMurray - Glen
Nicolas Cage - H.I. McDunnough

“- Ed: You mean you busted out of jail.
- Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
- Gale: What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.”
Holly Hunter - Ed
William Forsythe - Evelle
John Goodman - Gale

“This here's the TV. Two hours a day, maximum, either... either educational or football, so's, y'know, you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.”
Nicolas Cage - H.I. McDunnough