“Reality Bites” quotes

- Lelaina Pierce: I just don't understand why things just can't go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the "Brady Bunch" or something.
- Troy Dyer: Well, 'cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don't turn out like that.
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Ethan Hawke - Troy Dyer

“- Charlane McGregor: Why don't you get a job at the Burgerrama? They'll hire you! My Lord, I saw on the TV, they had this little retarded boy working the register.
- Lelaina Pierce: Because I'm not retarded, Mom. I was the valedictorian of my University!
- Wes McGregor: Well you don't have to put that on your application.”
Swoosie Kurtz - Charlane McGregor
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Harry O'Reilly - Wes McGregor

- Lelaina Pierce: Can you define "irony"?
- Troy Dyer: It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Ethan Hawke - Troy Dyer

My parents have been married for 26 years. They're like brother and sister at this point. She goes to the bathroom with the door open. That would be "A". And "B" that's disgusting.
Janeane Garofalo - Vickie Miner

“- Lelaina Pierce: Quick, Vicky, whats your social security?
- Vickie Miner: Uhm... 851-25-9357.
- Troy Dyer: Very impressive.
- Vickie Miner: Thats the only thing I really learned in college.”
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Janeane Garofalo - Vickie Miner
Ethan Hawke - Troy Dyer

“At the beep, please leave your name, number, and a brief justification for the ontological necessity of modern man's existential dilemma, and we'll get back to you”

Ethan Hawke - Troy Dyer

“- Lelaina Pierce: I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives.
- Troy Dyer: And I... I would like to buy them all a Coke.
- Lelaina Pierce: And you wonder why we never got involved?”
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Ethan Hawke - Troy Dyer

“- Vickie Miner: Do you ever wish you were a lesbian? Don't you think it would be so much easier?
- Lelaina Pierce: Sometimes, but I don't know. I could never go through with it. I'd start laughing or something.
- Vickie Miner: That is such a shame because I have had it with men.”
Janeane Garofalo - Vickie Miner
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce

“He's weird, he's strange, he's sloppy, he's a total nightmare for women... I can't believe I haven't slept with him yet.”
Janeane Garofalo - Vickie Miner

“- Lelaina Pierce: I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23.
- Troy Dyer: Honey, all you have to be by the time you're 23 is yourself.
- Lelaina Pierce: I don't know who that is anymore.”
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Ethan Hawke - Troy Dyer

“Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.”
Janeane Garofalo - Vickie Miner

“I take pleasure in the details. You know... a Quarter-Pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle... and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.”
Ethan Hawke - Troy Dyer

“- Lelaina Pierce: Hey, Sammy, what's your goal?
- Sammy Gray: My goal is... I'd like a career or something.”
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Steve Zahn - Sammy Gray

“- Lelaina Pierce: Are you religious?
- Michael Grates: Um, uh, I guess, uh, I guess I'm, uh, a non-practicing Jew.
- Lelaina Pierce: Hey, I'm a non-practicing virgin.”
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Ben Stiller - Michael Grates