“Semi-Pro” quotes

“- Lynn: You think I've forgotten that you cheated on me twice?
- Monix: I only cheated on you once. There just had to be two women.”
Maura Tierney - Lynn
Woody Harrelson - Monix

“- Lou Redwood: Well, he sat on the bench, right? I mean, if you watch a porn movie, doesn't mean you got laid.
- Dick Pepperfield: No. No, in fact it often means the opposite.”

Will Arnett - Lou Redwood
Andrew Daly - Dick Pepperfield

“- Jackie Moon: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
- Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
- Jackie Moon: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
- Monix: Oh yeah... let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.”
Will Ferrell - Jackie Moon
DeRay Davis - Bee Bee Ellis
Woody Harrelson - Monix

“Sometimes dreams can turn into nightmares.”
Andrew Daly - Dick Pepperfield

“- Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette? It's very unprofessional.
- Lou Redwood: No. I like to smoke when I drink. [sips his drink]”
Andrew Daly - Dick Pepperfield
Will Arnett - Lou Redwood

“Everybody panic! Oh my God, there's a bear loose in the coliseum! There will be no refunds! Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love the tender meat!”
Will Ferrell - Jackie Moon

“- Jackie Moon: Nothing in the rulebook that says you can't play drunk.
- Dick Pepperfield: Well actually there is.”
Will Ferrell - Jackie Moon
Andrew Daly - Dick Pepperfield