“Skipped Parts” quotes

“- Dot: The guys paid a dollar apiece to find out if you're single.
- Lydia Callahan: Tell the guys I have five husbands, each one rich, mean and jealous. I'll be rotatin' them through on a weekly basis.
- Dot: That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
- Lydia Callahan: Oh, just tell 'em I own a rifle.”
Andrea Menard - Dot
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan

“- Sam Callahan: Will you explain to me about women?
- Lydia Callahan: Women are right, men are wrong and that's all you need to know.”

Bug Hall - Sam Callahan
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan

“- Sam Callahan: You're licking the mirror.
- Lydia Callahan: I'm makin' contact.
- Sam Callahan: With who?
- Lydia Callahan: Myself.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan

“- Maurey Pierce: I want to explain the rules before we do this.
- Sam Callahan: Do what?
- Maurey Pierce: Make sex. Why else would I be here?
- Sam Callahan: We're gonna perform sex now?
- Maurey Pierce: After coffee.”
Mischa Barton - Maurey Pierce
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

“- Lydia Callahan: Hank, honey, what's that Indian thing you're making?
- Hank Elkrunner: Macaroni and Cheese!”
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan
Michael Greyeyes - Hank Elkrunner

“If you sleep with a girl and afterwards she likes you as a friend, then she's always gonna like you as a friend and she's never gonna like you as a lover, and there ain't nothing in this hell-bitch world you can do about it.”
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan

“- Sam Callahan: I knew where to go in, I think, but it wouldn't go. I must be too big.
- Delores: Nobody's too big.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan
Angela Featherstone - Delores

“Sam knew the trail ahead would be long, steep, and littered with horse manure, but he was ready now, 'cause somehow, someway, the waitress, the Indian, the cheerleader and the 15-year-old-father would survive. They were the modern American family.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

“- Sam Callahan: Now that Maurey and I have done it, will she like me?
- Lydia Callahan: Maurey will always have a warm spot in her heart whenever she thinks about you.
- Sam Callahan: But she says we're just friends.
- Lydia Callahan: Well, you're lucky. That way you can have the fun of love without the heartbreak.
- Sam Callahan: But what if I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan

“- Chuckette Morris: You have to give me your jacket.
- Sam Callahan: What?
- Chuckette Morris: Well, it'll be a letter jacket next year. We'll make do for now.
- Sam Callahan: Charlotte, it's freezing outside.
- Chuckette Morris: What better way to prove your love for me than to sacrifice your jacket for my own comfort?
- Sam Callahan: Well, I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Alison Pill - Chuckette Morris
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

“- Maurey Pierce: We're both virgins, but someday we're gonna find ourselves doing it for real.
- Sam Callahan: So today's sex isn't real?
- Maurey Pierce: We're just friends helping each other learn a new skill. This is practice.
- Sam Callahan: So, will we still be virgins afterward?”
Mischa Barton - Maurey Pierce
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

“- Sam Callahan: Do you practice sex with Dothan?
- Maurey Pierce: Of course not, silly. He's my boyfriend.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan
Mischa Barton - Maurey Pierce

“People in the cities cannot believe in nobility because they see no sign of it.”
Michael Greyeyes - Hank Elkrunner

“- Lydia Callahan: The timed mastery of a horse is nothing more than competitive sex, proof that man can subjugate anythin' wild and beautiful once he gets it between his legs.
- Delores: What gets me is they want a belt buckle for lastin' eight seconds.”
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan
Angela Featherstone - Delores

“Spring in Wyoming lasts all of two weeks and is marked by mud and rampant pregnancy.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

“- Sam Callahan: I don't have a father.
- Maurey Pierce: Did he die?
- Sam Callahan: Lydia won't tell me anything about him. When she's drunk she claims virgin birth like Mary and Jesus.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan
Mischa Barton - Maurey Pierce

“If a person goes to hell for not finishing a tuna croquette, I think I lost my salvation a long time ago.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

“- Sam Callahan: Can I touch her?
- Maurey Pierce: Okay, but be gentle. Babies aren't footballs.
- Sam Callahan: Yeah, they don't travel as far when you kick 'em.”

Bug Hall - Sam Callahan
Mischa Barton - Maurey Pierce