“Small Time Crooks” quotes
(2000)
Woody Allen
directed this movie
in 2000
Title Small Time Crooks
Year 2000
Director Woody Allen
Genre Comedy, Crime
Year 2000
Director Woody Allen
Genre Comedy, Crime
Plot – As soon as Ray Winkler gets out of jail, he plans another robbery. He thinks to rent a shop next to a bank to dig a tunnel and to reach the vault. It seems an easy plan without risks and his wife Frenchy participates too. She opens a homemade desserts production as a front for their illegal business, but Ray and his team are incapable of digging the tunnel, while Frenchy's biscuits get an unexpected success. The earnings increase so much Frenchy becomes rich. Now the woman wants to hang out with high society people and she meets David, a fascinating man who soon begins to woo her. Then administrators tell her about some unpaid taxes and bankruptcy is near, so David disappears and Ray and Frenchy find themselves alone and without money, but they have learnt something more important.
All actors – Woody Allen, Carolyn Saxon, Tracey Ullman, Michael Rapaport, Tony Darrow, Sam Josepher, Jon Lovitz, Lawrence Howard Levy, Diane Bradley, Crystal Field, Cindy Carver, Ray Garvey, Bill Gerber, Olivia Hayman, Laurine Towler, Fanda Nikic, Brian Markinson, Elaine May, Dana Tyler, Steve Kroft, Brian McConnachie, Ricardo Bertoni, Isaac Mizrahi, Kristine Nielsen, Larry Pine, Hugh Grant, Julie Lund, Teri Black, John Doumanian, Phyllis Burdoe, Maurice Sonnenberg, Richard Mawe, Karla Wolfangle, Rob Besserer, Frank Wood, Ruth Laredo, Julie Halston, Anthony Sinopoli, Jesse Levy, Josephine Calabrese, Cindy Wilks, Trevor Moran, Peter McRobbie, Douglas McGrath, Elaine Stritch, Howard Erskine, Christine Pipgras, Nick Garfinkle, Kenneth Edelson, Ira Wheeler, William Hill, Ramsey Faragallah, Scotty Bloch, George Grizzard, Marvin Chatinover, Alva Chinn, Evelyn Iocolano
show all“Small Time Crooks” Quotes 23 quotes
“- Ray: For God's sake! For some reason you're always shooting down my dreams.
- Frenchy: Because you get the kind of dreams people get after putting opium in their brownies.”“- Ray: I gotta get some air. I'm going up on the roof.
- Frenchy: Don't jump! You're too valuable as a dishwasher.”“- May Sloane: Then the lights begin to flash. Little pinpoints of light. Then my tongue turns black and I can't swallow.
- Dr. Henske: Really?
- May Sloane: The diagnosis is Parkinson's, but they think it could be the Ebola virus, or mad cow disease.”“It was a really tragic story because my husband, Otto, was dyslexic, and the only thing he could spell correctly was his name.”
“- Ray: I'm no genius, believe me, I'm no genius.
- Frenchy: Yeah, you don't have to sell me.”“- Denny: Ray really is a genius, Frenchy.
- Frenchy: Compared to you, this chair is a genius, Denny.”“- Frenchy's Lawyer: You have nothing. No house, no bank account, just a couple of large, outstanding loans which we feel you can best deal with by filing for bankruptcy.
- Frenchy: Bankruptcy? Bankruptcy? I'm not up to the B-words yet!”“- Ray: What would you say if I told you that you were married to a very brilliant man?
- Frenchy: I'd say I'd have to be a bigamist.”“- Tommy: I sold some stuff.
- Denny: What did you sell?
- Tommy: A rented car.”“- David: So, you can see the difference between this Tintoretto and the earlier Byzantine painting we looked at? What would you say is the most significant difference?
- Ray: Me? I'd say the frame's bigger here.”“You wouldn't know a masterpiece if it bit you in the ass.”
“- Ray: Can we change the music, please? Because I feel like I should be wearing a wig.
- Frenchy: You will be in a couple of years.”“I met a wonderful man downstairs. He seemed to like me. He said I reminded him of his wife who's dead. But I assume he meant when she was alive.”
“- Ray: Today Denny got bit by a rat. We had to give him rabies shot.
- Frenchy: Who, the rat?”- Ray: "The Brain". That's what the guys used to call me, right?
- Benny: But, Ray! That was sarcastic!“You better wise up, 'cause if I grow and you stay as stupid as you are, we're gonna have big problems, Ray!”
“Chinese food and a pizza? With your stomach, I'm surprised you weren't shot breaking into the Pepto-Bismol factory.”
“Your cousin May is dumb like a horse, or a dog or something.”
“- Ray: I get a bad vibe about this guy, David. It's my street instinct, but I just don't trust him.
- May Sloane: Yeah, I know why. Because he's younger than you are, handsomer than you are, he's much taller than you are, he's smarter than you are, he's much more exciting than you are...
- Ray: May, don't feel obligated to pull any punches with...” (continue)(continue reading)“- Ray: When we first met, there was a sunset just like this. Remember that?
- Frenchy: Yeah. In New Jersey, but in Colombia there was an earthquake.”“- Benny: Where are you gonna get four fourths and a third? Can't you add?
- Denny: I don't do fractions, all right?”
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