“Surviving Christmas” quotes

“- Christine Valco: Tom, that guy is still here.
- Tom Valco: Yeah, I know.
- Christine Valco: Why is he still here?
- Tom Valco: He's giving us $250,000 to be his family for Christmas.
- Christine Valco: And you agreed to this without asking me?
- Tom Valco: Of course I did, he's giving us $250,000!”
Catherine O'Hara - Christine Valco
James Gandolfini - Tom Valco

“- Tom Valco: I think your mom's starting to like your grandfather hitting on her.
- Drew Latham: There's a sentence you don't often hear on Christmas Eve.”
James Gandolfini - Tom Valco
Ben Affleck - Drew Latham

“- Christine Valco: how would you like it if I agreed to something like this without asking you?
- Tom Valco: Well, that would depend. Would we be getting $250,000?”

Catherine O'Hara - Christine Valco
James Gandolfini - Tom Valco

“Folks, my firm's done a tremendous amount of marketing research and we've discovered two critical things; one: most Americans feel that Christmas is a time for family. Two: most Americans feel that in order to stand being around their family, for even one or two days, they need to swill as much alcohol as humanly possible.”
Ben Affleck - Drew Latham

“- Deli Man: How's the holidays?
- Tom Valco: Considering I got a pain in my ass about six feet tall in my house, all right!”
Ron Karabatsos - Deli Man
James Gandolfini - Tom Valco

“- Tom Valco: I told you, we shouldn't have put the computer up in his room. He's gonna spend all his time there.
- Christine Valco: Oh, Tom. Welcome to the future, dear. He's advancing his skills. One day that computer's gonna get our baby a good job.
- Tom Valco: Trust me. What he's doing up there, nobody's gonna pay him for, 'cause if they did...” (continue)(continue reading)

James Gandolfini - Tom Valco
Catherine O'Hara - Christine Valco

“- Drew Latham: Please! Please, let me stay here!
- Tom Valco: No!
- Drew Latham: I'll pay you.
- Tom Valco: My family's not for sale, pal.
- Drew Latham: I'll pay you $250,000!
- Tom Valco: Welcome home, son.”
Ben Affleck - Drew Latham
James Gandolfini - Tom Valco

“Now you're talking my language. Old enough to know how it's done and young enough to still want to do it.”

Bill Macy - Doo-Dah

“- Drew Latham: You do know that's a bra you're putting in Brian's drawer, right?
- Christine Valco: Yeah, that's your brother. He's 15, he likes to experiment. We still love him though.”
Ben Affleck - Drew Latham
Catherine O'Hara - Christine Valco