“Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” quotes

“- Preston: There's Van Gogh. Degas. Rodin. They didn't have agents. How'd they get so successful?
- Maddox: They died.”
James Remar - Preston
Philip Lenkowsky - Maddox

“We were a dull collection of rich, old, unhappy people.”
William Hickey - Drogan

“- Wyatt: You know, you saved Preston from people like me.
- Preston: She saved me from myself.
- Wyatt: Time to go. This kind of sincerity is bad for my self-image.”

Robert Klein - Wyatt
James Remar - Preston

“- Betty: I never could do long division. Let's see, how many times does twelve go into seventy-five.
- Timmy: Oh, six times, three left over. Why?
- Betty: Well, at twelve minutes a pound, that means you have to be in the oven by no later than 1:30. Oh, but evisceration takes at least an hour.”
Debbie Harry - Betty
Matthew Lawrence - Timmy

“- Cabbie: What's so fuckin' funny?
- Bellingham: Oh, I was just thinking of this guy I know. Couldn't distinguish a third dynasty sacred scroll from a piece of post-Alexandrian pictogram porn.”
Paul Greeno - Cabbie
Steve Buscemi - Bellingham

“- Preston: Wyatt, I'm broke. I can't live on nothing.
- Wyatt: And I can't live on ten-percent of nothing.
- Preston: You're a monster.
- Wyatt: I'm an agent. For an agent, being a monster is just credentials.”
James Remar - Preston
Robert Klein - Wyatt

“The rest of your nine lives are going in one lump-sum.”

David Johansen - Halston

“- Halston: Don't worry, Drogan. I'll kill your cat for you.
- Drogan: Good. Kill it, bury it, and bring me its tail so I can throw it in the fire and watch it burn.”
David Johansen - Halston
William Hickey - Drogan

“- Carola: Preston and I are celebrating the tenth anniversary of the night we first met.
- Margaret: You mean when you thought he was gonna push you up against the wall and rape you?
- Carola: Yes, darling.”
Rae Dawn Chong - Carola
Nicolle Rochelle - Margaret