“Terror Firmer” quotes

“I know a little something about the world because I'm a 52-year-old manic asshole! It's a horrible world! Starvation, dismemberment, torture, rape, corn-holing... it's horrible out there, but it's worse here in the movie set! We have danger... and stupidity! I don't want someone dying on my set! If someone dies here, I'll blow my brains out and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Lloyd Kaufman - Larry Benjamin

“Don't give up the fight for truly independent cinema!”

Lyle Derek - Asshole P.A.

“Do you want some chocolate? I didn't think so. I eat this stuff all the time. White chocolate, dark chocolate. Of course I eat dark chocolate with meat and white chocolate with fish.”
Joe Fleishaker - Jacob Gelman

“Sam Fuller, the American no-talent embraced by those French derelicts.”

Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman

“- Andy: We all know Benjamin's three simple rules to safety. One, safety to humans. Two, safety to people's property. And three, make a good movie.
- Casey: Yeah, too bad he can't seem to get rule three right.”

Mo Fischer - Andy
Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman

“I love my job. I don't even get paid to be here. In fact, I would pay to be here. So if these people don't like it here, they can just get the fuck out.”
Trent Haaga - Jerry

“- Casey: We change the script every day. It completely changes everything in the story.
- Jerry: Yes. You can do whatever you want to at Troma. It's this shit in which the best chaos emerges.
- Casey: How can you like this offensive garbage anyway?
- Jerry: Because it is offensive. Sometimes pissing people off is the only reason to get them to...” (continue)(continue reading)

Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman
Trent Haaga - Jerry

“- Casey: The perversions must end!... Family values must be saved!
- Christine: No! This is a Troma movie!”

Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman
Debbie Rochon - Christine

“- Jerry: Okay, I could express myself a bit more physically by giving you a nice punch in the fucking lungs! How would you like that?
- Casey: You shouldn't hit me.
- Jerry: Oh, and why is that?
- Casey: Well, because... You'll be nothing but a bloody heap of quivering pasty white flesh lying on the ground begging for your mama! Would you like...” (continue)(continue reading)

Trent Haaga - Jerry
Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman

“- Old Man Phil: Larry Benjamin was the first director to deal with the subject of AIDS way back in 1985.
- Casey: Right, you call having a mindless nymphet getting raped by an evil general with AIDS is dealing with the subject?”
Michael Locascio - Old Man Phil
Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman

“- Mysterious Woman: This is your brain.
- Toddster: Dude, my brain!
- Mysterious Woman: And this is your brain on drugs!”

Sheri Wenden - Mysterious Woman
Gary Hrbek - Toddster

- Christine: Larry, my contract with you says 15 hours and I've been here for 22 hours now! I'm tired and I want to go home!
- Larry Benjamin: Of course you want to go home. While you were in that last scene, I could have sworn you were Marilyn Monroe in "River of No Return". You were so beautiful in that!
- Christine: Really, Larry? Marilyn... (continue)(continue reading)
Debbie Rochon - Christine
Lloyd Kaufman - Larry Benjamin

- Andy: Hey Todd, are you gonna be ready in five?
- Toddster: I would be ready now if the fact that our fearless leader, our "brilliant" director, didn't blow out my sound system with his ultra-real 44 Magnum blast in that last scene.
- Tina - Script Girl: So, how long then?
- Toddster: Long enough for you to suck the Todd rod, and for you to be... (continue)(continue reading)
Mo Fischer - Andy
Gary Hrbek - Toddster
Reverend Jen Miller - Tina - Script Girl

“I was thinking about going home and putting a Spielberg movie in - 'Always' or '1941', something really great like that.”
Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman

“- Larry Benjamin: Yaeger? I sent him over to Jerry in special effects. He's having his head life cast for the head crushing scene we're filming next. Yaeger's the guy who's going to get his head squished between the cheeks of Toxie's ass.
- Andy: Larry, it would be so much faster and cheaper if we use this watermelon with a wig on it like you...” (continue)(continue reading)
Lloyd Kaufman - Larry Benjamin
Mo Fischer - Andy