“The Battle of Shaker Heights” quotes

- Miner Weber: You still in high school?
- Kelly Ernswiler: Yeah, I am. But I also moonlight as a stock boy over at the Shop Ease. And PresidentDawn Cominsky says every employee's part owner, so I guess you could say I'm a captain of industry in training. Sort of, um, a "capitalist larvae".
Anson Mount - Miner Weber
Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler

“One day I'm going to be a beautiful butterfly, right? But first I have to be a pupa. And pupas don't really go out that much, so I don't think I'm going to be going out that much. Pupa, the awkward adolescence of the insect world.”
Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler

“- Principal Holmstead: Growing up is a hard enough thing as it is.
- Kelly Ernswiler: Is that what your box of tissues is for?”
Hattie Winston - Principal Holmstead
Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler

“You need to stop living in a fucking fantasy world.”
Elden Henson - Bart Bowland

“- Kelly Ernswiler: War is hell.
- Sarah: Oh, well then, why do you do it?
- Kelly Ernswiler: You're never more alive than when faced with simulated death.”

Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler
Shiri Appleby - Sarah

“I know that some of the teachers around here can be pretty trying for you sometimes. But you've got to learn to work in the system, not against it.”
Hattie Winston - Principal Holmstead

“I'll forgive him when I go to college. That's when I'll forgive him. I can't go, can I? Because he took all the money out of my college fund, and bought Mexican black tar with it. And you're asking me to forgive this guy. No way.”

Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler

“- Principal Holmstead: How am I ever going to get through to you?
- Kelly Ernswiler: Well, advertising executives use status and sex to appeal to my demographic.”
Hattie Winston - Principal Holmstead
Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler