“The Ice Pirates” quotes

“I hope no one minds but I have no intention of facing this sober.”
Ronald Francis Perlman - Zeno

“- Killjoy: They don't castrate clergy. Just in case.
- Roscoe: Just in case of what?
- Killjoy: Just in case there really is a god.”
John Matuszak - Killjoy
Michael D. Roberts - Roscoe

“- Blonde Girl: Jason, you never keep any of your promises.
- Jason: Oh really, well I will... next time.
- Blonde Girl: Promise?”
Debra Troyer - Blonde Girl
Robert Urich - Jason

“- Maida: It says here that the water planet has so much moisture on its surface that it continuously creates cycles of clouds and falling rain.
- Killjoy: Sure. You know what that means. That means that we will both be able to take hot wet baths together.”
Anjelica Huston - Maida
John Matuszak - Killjoy

“- Maida: I think you owe the lady and me an apology.
- Patch: My apologies.
- Maida: You didn't sound too sincere to me.
- Patch: I'm sorry.”

Anjelica Huston - Maida
Rockne Tarkington - Patch

“Even their robots are insolent.”
John Carradine - Supreme Commander

“- Nanny: That's barbaric!
- Killjoy: Oh, yeah!”

Natalie Core - Nanny
John Matuszak - Killjoy

“- Wendon: I'm afraid I have some bad news... well maybe its not that bad. The princess is pregnant.
- Jason: Pregnant? How the hell did that happen?
- Wendon: Well you can be sure I had nothing to do with it. She's asking to see you.”
Bruce Vilanch - Wendon
Robert Urich - Jason

“- Princess Karina: Your he is a she and she thinks you're wonderful.
- Jason: She does?
- Princess Karina: I think you better get over there and see what you can do, Jason.”
Mary Crosby - Princess Karina
Robert Urich - Jason

“- Jason: Why'd you make him black?
- Roscoe: Because I wanted him to be perfect.”

Robert Urich - Jason
Michael D. Roberts - Roscoe

Whatever happened to "we rape, we pillage"?

Robert Urich - Jason

“People without water will do anything!”
Bruce Vilanch - Wendon

“Do I have value again?”
Bruce Vilanch - Wendon