“The Lobster” quotes

“I hope she dies right away... On second thought, I hope she suffers quite a bit before she dies. I just hope her pathetic screams can't be heard from my room, because I was thinking about having a lie down, and I need peace and quiet. I was playing golf, and the last thing I need is some woman dying slowly and loudly.”

Colin Farrell - David

“The fact that you will turn into an animal if you fail to fall in love with someone during your stay here is not something that should upset you or get you down.”
Olivia Colman - Hotel manager

“Just think, as an animal you'll have a second chance to find a companion. But, even then, you must be careful; you need to choose a companion that is a similar type of animal to you. A wolf and a penguin could never live together, nor could a camel and a hippopotamus. That would be absurd.”
Olivia Colman - Hotel manager

“The first thing most people do when they realise someone doesn't love them anymore is cry.”
Rachel Weisz - Short Sighted Woman

“- Hotel Manager: Any children?
- David: No.
- Hotel Manager: And the dog?
- David: This is my brother. He was here a couple of years ago but he didn’t make it.”

Olivia Colman - Hotel Manager
Colin Farrell - David

“- Loner Leader: Can you imagine why I brought you to this quiet place today?
- David: No.
- Loner Leader: Because I think it's the perfect spot for your grave.”
Léa Seydoux - Loner Leader
Colin Farrell - David

“If you encounter any problems you cannot resolve yourselves, you will be assigned children, that usually helps.”

Olivia Colman - Hotel Manager

“We dance alone. That's why we only play electronic music.”
Léa Seydoux - Loner Leader

“Tomorrow, they'll be transferred to a double room, with a larger wardrobe and a larger bathroom. They will remain in the double room for two weeks, then they'll be transferred to the yachts for a further two weeks. We wish you every success and we hope that you will return to the city as a couple.”
Olivia Colman - Hotel Manager

“- Hotel Manager: Now have you thought of what animal you'd like to be if you end up alone?
- David: Yes. A lobster.
- Hotel Manager: Why a lobster?
- David: Because lobsters live for over one hundred years, are blue-blooded like aristocrats, and stay fertile all their lives. I also like the sea very much.”
Olivia Colman - Hotel Manager
Colin Farrell - David

“It's no coincidence that the targets are shaped like single people and not couples.”
Ewen MacIntosh - Trainer Waiter - Shooting Range

“- David: You’re like a brother to me. Oh, you’re my best friend in the whole world.
- Lisping Man: I don’t think I’m your best friend in the whole world.”

Colin Farrell - David
John C. Reilly - Lisping Man