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“The Nude Bomb” quotes
(1980)
Title The Nude Bomb
Year 1980
Director
Clive Donner
Genre
Sci-Fi,
Comedy,
Crime,
Mystery
All actors – Don Adams, Sylvia Kristel, Rhonda Fleming, Dana Elcar, Pamela Hensley, Andrea Howard, Norman Lloyd, Bill Dana, Gary Imhoff, Sarah Rush, Vittorio Gassman, Walter Brooke
show all
“- Landlady: That doesn't look anything like you.
- Maxwell Smart: It's my thumb print.”
“- Maxwell Smart: At this very minute, my friend, this chalet is being completely surrounded by 500 alpine crack troops.
- KAOS #1: I find that hard to believe.
- Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 150 Tirolian ski-troops?
- KAOS #2: No, we wouldn't.
- Maxwell Smart: How about 2 Saint Bernards in heat?”
“Mr Smart, evidently I underestimated you. You're not a complete fool, after all. Almost, very close, but not complete.”
“- Chief: The fate of the entire world is in your hands.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh no, not again. Well, ok this time, but next week I'm on vacation, Chief. If you get in trouble then, it's your ass.”
“- Sauvage: Maxwell Smart is a fool and a bumbler.
- Nino Salvatori Sebastiani: So how do you explain how this bumbler has been able to thwart KAOS constanly in the past?
- Sauvage: He's a lucky bumbler.”
“There'd be no more trouble with concealed weapons. I mean if everyone was nude, there'd be no place to hide a gun or a knife. Well, there is a place, but it could be painful.”
“- Maxwell Smart: I'm a secret agent. And I am here on a very important mission, Edith. May I call you Edith?
- Edith Von Secondberg: I'd like that. Particularly since that's my name. You'll find I answer a lot faster to it than I would if you called me Marion.
- Maxwell Smart: I'm going to level with you, Marion... May I call you Marion?”
“- Larabee: If they decide to drop the nude bomb, I know the answer. Well?
- Maxwell Smart: Well what?
- Larabee: Don't you wanna know the answer?
- Maxwell Smart: No.
- Larabee: Food.
- Maxwell Smart: Food?
- Larabee: Sure, the whole world will start wearing food.”
“- Sauvage: Your bogus ingenuousness is straining my equanimity.
- Maxwell Smart: Could you put that another way?
- Sauvage: You're pissing me off.”
“- Maxwell Smart: Just our luck, we gotta run into a poisonous Achtung.
- Agent 34: That means attention. There has been an avalanche.”
“- Maxwell Smart: This nude bomb might solve a lot of problems.
- Chief: Such as?
- Maxwell Smart: Well for one thing, flashers.”
“Calm down, dear Nino. I don't understand this outburst. You've become highly irrational since that explosion in your laboratory. You lost your eye, your arm, your leg, your larynx. What's wrong with you?”
“- President: You realize, Mr. Smart, that once KAOS learns your mission, they'll stop at nothing. You'll be in imminent danger, constant jeopardy, facing death at every turn.
- Maxwell Smart: And... loving it.”
“- Agent 22: I've never seen that maneuver before: falling over backwards and coming up shooting. When did you first think of that?
- Maxwell Smart: The second my foot hit this banana peel.”
“- Maxwell Smart: I once knew an agent who went into the Pentagon building in Washington, and was lost for three days!
- Agent 22: Three days? I can't believe anyone could get that confused.
- Maxwell Smart: Well, let me see. I went in on a Tuesday...”
“- Edith Von Secondberg: You're quite witty.
- Maxwell Smart: And charming.”
“- Agent 36: You're a legend, 86. When I was studying well the Spy Academy I reviewed every one of your cases.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, well, wouldn't you like to hear my side of the story?
- Agent 36: I think you're wonderful.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, you have heard my side of the story.”
“- Maxwell Smart: A stapler telephone? That's fantastic, Carruthers. Can it also be used as a stapler?
- Carruthers: No.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, well, you'd better work on that.”
“If there's one thing I've learned, in many many years of experience, it's that you cannot be too careful with your gun.”
“When I'm on a case, I don't fool around. I mean, before a case? Maybe. After a case? Definitely. During a case? Never.”
“- Maxwell Smart: 22 was married to the late, great 78? Wasn't he a little old for her?
- Agent 13: Well, let's see. 22 was 21 when she married 78 in '72. 78 was 46, that means 78 was 22, 32, 42, 25 years older than 22. 22 joined P.I.T.S when 78 died in 75.
- Maxwell Smart: Tell me, 13, how was 78 killed?
- Agent 13: Investigating the numbers...”
(continue)(continue reading)
“That girl worries me a lot, Chief. Whatever happened to the regulations regarding female agents? They're supposed to be unmarried, without dependence and willing to fool around a lot.”
