“The Other Guys” quotes

“- Allen Gamble: Hey, I didn't know you can dance.
- Terry Hoitz: We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids to show them how queer they were, okay.
- Allen Gamble: You learned to dance like that sarcastically?
- Terry Hoitz: Yeah, I guess.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“- Dr. Sheila Gamble: Allen, I'm pregnant.
- Allen Gamble: Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to you?”
Eva Mendes - Dr. Sheila Gamble
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“You keep hiding from shit in the world, and eventually the world comes to your front door.”
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise it's just sort of a linear story.”
Steve Coogan - David Ershon

“- Hal: What would you rather be, a bear or a dog?
- Terry Hoitz: I don't care.
- Hal: I would rather be a bear-dog, half bear, half dog. Because that way I would live in the house, but I still get to make a doodie in the woods!”
Brett Gelman - Hal
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“You have the right to remain silent... but I want to hear you scream!”
Samuel L. Jackson - P.K. Highsmith

“One day I'll get you over that wall of anger, and it will be glorious!”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, ok? You've got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you've got no partner.”

Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“In New York City there's a fine line between law and chaos. On that line live Danson and Highsmith.”
Ice-T - Narrator

“I'm like a peacock, you gotta let me fly!”
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“From bodily fluids and hair samples, we've determined that a bunch of old homeless dudes had an orgy in there.”
Peter R. Thewes - Hazmat Officer

“At age 11, I audited my parents. Believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“Hope you like prison food... and penis.”
Damon Wayans Jr. - Fosse

“- Terry Hoitz: What is this?
- Allen Gamble: It's my car; it's a Prius.
- Terry Hoitz: I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina.”
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“- Allen Gamble: I can't hear! I can't hear! There's blood blisters on my hands! Oh, my God! How do you walk away in a movie without flinching when it explodes behind them? There's no way! I call bullshit on that! When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit!
- Terry Hoitz...” (continue)(continue reading)

Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“Listen guys, I've got two jobs. I work here, and I have another job at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm doing it to put a kid through NYU, so he can explore his bisexuality and become a DJ.”
Michael Keaton - Captain Gene Mauch

“This meal is terrible... it tastes like roasted dog asshole.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“- Terry Hoitz: You feel that, Allen? Huh? That tingling in your balls? Big metal butterflies fluttering around your stomach?
- Allen Gamble: Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer?”
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“- Allen Gamble: I'm so tired of you getting angry, and yelling all the time, it's exhausting. I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk.
- Terry Hoitz: You want to know why I'm so angry all the time? Because the more I try to do right the more I screw things up.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd...” (continue)(continue reading)

Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“- Roger Wesley: There are three things I love in this world: Kylie Minogue, small dimples just above a woman's buttocks...
- Allen Gamble: Beautiful features.
- Roger Wesley: And the fear in a man's eye when he know's I'm about to hurt him.”
Ray Stevenson - Roger Wesley
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“If I wanna hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!”
Samuel L. Jackson - P.K. Highsmith

“I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“Got a couple of tips... help you guys stay out of jail. One: try your hardest to not be Black or Hispanic.”
Damon Wayans Jr. - Fosse

“- Allen Gamble: Hey, what are you doing here?
- Terry Hoitz: I come here when I have lady troubles, which means I come here every night.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz