“Torch Song Trilogy” quotes

“A ugly person who goes after a pretty person gets nothing but trouble. But a pretty person who goes after a ugly person gets at least cab fare.”
Harvey Forbes Fierstein - Arnold Beckoff

- Ed Reese: Whoops.
- Arnold Beckoff: Whoops? Ed, did you say "whoops"? No, Ed. "Whoops" is when you fall down an elevator shaft. "Whoops" is when you skinny-dip in a school of piranha. "Whoops" is when you accidentally douche with Drano! No, Ed. This was no "whoops." This was an "Aha-ha-ha-ha"!
Brian Kerwin - Ed Reese
Harvey Forbes Fierstein - Arnold Beckoff

“It's easier to love someone who's dead. They make so few mistakes.”
Harvey Forbes Fierstein - Arnold Beckoff

“- Ed Reese: I can't believe you're still mad.
- Arnold Beckoff: I ain't still mad... this here is brand new!”
Brian Kerwin - Ed Reese
Harvey Forbes Fierstein - Arnold Beckoff

“- Ed Reese: Why don't you ask Arnold? I'm sure he has lots to say on the subject.
- Alan Simon: He says you're a boring, self-centered, insensitive old fool who wouldn't know love if it wore wings, diaper, and shot heart-shaped arrows at your butt.”

Brian Kerwin - Ed Reese
Matthew Broderick - Alan Simon

“A thing of beauty is a joy 'till sunrise.”
Harvey Forbes Fierstein - Arnold Beckoff