“Up the Academy” quotes

“- Liceman: Tickle your ass with a feather?
- Party Guest: I beg your pardon?
- Liceman: It's particularly nasty weather.”
Ron Leibman - Major Vaughn Liceman

“- Ververgaert: You don't wet your bed, do you?
- Chooch: No, I generally just piss over the side.”
Harry Teinowitz - Rodney Ververgaert
Ralph Macchio - Chooch

“- Bliss: You're lucky, MacArthur. I never go all the way with a cadet.
- Ike: Really?
- Bliss: Yeah, but you're different.
- Ike: I am?
- Bliss: Yeah. You know, all these guys care about is my body.
- Ike: I know. Wow!”

Barbara Bach - Bliss
Wendell Brown - Ike

“- Chooch: What does Liceman want more than anything else?
- Hash: My balls!
- Ike: My soul!
- Oliver: My ass!”
Ralph Macchio - Chooch
Tommy Citera - Hash
Wendell Brown - Ike
Hutch Parker - Oliver

“- Liceman: Do you like it when a gentleman ties you up?
- Guard: What?
- Liceman: You know... with rope.”
Ron Leibman - Major Vaughn Liceman

“- Ike: I'd love to stay and get together but I gotta get outta here.
- Bliss: Is it something I said? Did I come on too strong?
- Ike: No. I just have to go and meet the guys.
- Bliss: Don't you want to meet these guys?
- Ike: I would. But my friends are counting on me.
- Bliss: Okay. Meet me in my room later. I'll be waiting.”
Wendell Brown - Ike
Barbara Bach - Bliss

- Ike: Just call me Ike.
- Hash: Hash.
- Ike: Not now, man. Maybe after dinner.
- Hash: No. My name is Hash. It's easier to say than "El Hashid Amir Junior".
- Ike: It's easier to smoke too.
Wendell Brown - Ike
Tommy Citera - Hash

“- Bliss: Slide over here. Come on and have a feel, MacArthur. Touch them.
- Ike: Uh.
- Bliss: Don't be shy. That's what they're there for.
- Ike: Uh.
- Bliss: That's it. I know you want them!”

Barbara Bach - Bliss
Wendell Brown - Ike

- Chooch: I'm taking this top bunk. Anybody got any objections?
- Hash: Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
- Chooch: I didn't "throw" it.
Ralph Macchio - Chooch
Tommy Citera - Hash

“- Liceman: What did I tell you I'd do if I ever caught you stealing again?
- Hash: You said you'd rip my balls off, sir.
- Liceman: Say it again!
- Hash: You said you'd rip my balls off, sir.
- Liceman: Say it again!
- Hash: You said you'd rip my balls off, sir.”
Ron Leibman - Major Vaughn Liceman
Tommy Citera - Hash