“Wayne's World” quotes

“I mean Led Zeppelin didn't writetunes that anybody liked. They left that to the BeeGees.”
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

“You know, if you stab a man in the dead of winter, steam will rise up from the wounds. Indians believed it was his soul escaping from his body.”
Ed O'Neill - Glen, Mikita's Manager

“Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.”
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

- Benjamin Oliver: Oh, actually all champagne is French; it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "Champagne", even though by definition they're not.
- Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek:... (continue)(continue reading)
Rob Lowe - Benjamin Oliver
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

“- Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
- Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
- Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.”

Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Mike Myers - Garth Algar

“- Wayne Campbell: I smell bacon. Does anyone else smell bacon?
- Garth Algar: I definitely smell a pork product of some kind.”

Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

“- Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
- Wayne Campbell: If it's a severed head, I'm going to be very upset.”
Lara Flynn Boyle - Stacy
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

- Wayne Campbell: So, do you... come to Milwaukee often?
- Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600's to trade with the Native Americans.
- Pete Freezin': In fact, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
-... (continue)(continue reading)
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Alice Cooper - Alice Cooper
Pete Freezin' - Pete Freezin'

“- Wayne Campbell: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?
- Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beetles.
- Wayne Campbell: Shitty Beetles? Are they any good?
- Tiny: They suck.
- Wayne Campbell: Then it's not just a clevername.”
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Meat Loaf - Tiny

“- Davy: Know what I'd like to do?
- Glen, Mikita's Manager: Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.
- Davy: Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.
- Glen, Mikita's...” (continue)(continue reading)

Mike Hagerty - Davy
Ed O'Neill - Glen, Mikita's Manager

“Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.”
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

- Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat".
- Noah Vanderhoff: What?
- Wayne Campbell: Exactly.
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Brian Doyle-Murray - Noah Vanderhoff

“- Benjamin Oliver: Wayne! Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact he's the sponsor and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show.
- Wayne Campbell: [holding a Pizza Hut box] Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any...” (continue)(continue reading)

Rob Lowe - Benjamin Oliver
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

“Let me tell you something about women, Wayne. They want you to come get them. They love it.”
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

“- Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
- Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
- Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
- Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.”
Mike Myers - Stacy
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

“- Garth Algar: Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?
- Wayne Campbell: No.
[cracks up laughing]
- Wayne Campbell: No.
- Garth Algar: Neither did I. I was just asking.”
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

“- Garth Algar: What are you gonna do with these guys?
- Wayne Campbell: Oh, nothing really. I just always wanted to open a door to room where people are being trained like in James Bond movies.”

Dana Carvey - Garth Algar
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

“- Garth Algar: Well, you know what you can do with your show? You can take a flying...
[a passing jet liner mutes out most of what he says]
- Garth Algar: ...till the handle breaks off and you have to get a doctor to pull it out again!
- Wayne Campbell: You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

“I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.”
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell