“Wild Hogs” quotes

“Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?”

Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“- Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
- Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
Stephen Tobolowsky - Charley

“Sorry, Woody, about your situation. But you're a lying asshole. That's like an asshole's asshole.”
Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“- Doug Madsen: Ooh boy, my ass is sore.
- Dudley Frank: Mine too, its Woody's fault for riding us so hard yesterday. The human body wasn't made to stradle something that big for that long.”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank

“One man's fairy tale is another man's nightmare.”
John Travolta - Woody Stevens

“- Dudley Frank: I'm looking forward to the parade this year. I got little Tootsie Rolls to throw to the kids.
- Woody Stevens: Tootsie Rolls? You cannot even put on your left blinker without wiping out.”
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank
John Travolta - Woody Stevens

“What I see here is just a bunch of grown men whose biggest decision in life is 'sleeveless or... uh... sleeveless? Do I shit behind the rock or over there by that bush?' Grown men... this is pathetic!”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen

“Did you ever wake up one morning and wonder what happened to your life? You know, I thought my life would be an adventure. All of a sudden, I'm a suburban dentist.”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen

“- Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
- Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
- Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
- Woody Stevens: Well, not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
John Travolta - Woody Stevens

“- Red: When we drink piss, we drink it cold!
- Murdock: What?
- Red: We don't drink piss!”
Kevin Durand - Red
M.C. Gainey - Murdock

“- Doug Madsen: You like the waitress?
- Dudley Frank: Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes.
- Bobby Davis: Like which ones?
- Dudley Frank: I forget.
- Bobby Davis: Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whooped.
- Dudley Frank: Would that be funny?
- Bobby Davis: I'll...” (continue)(continue reading)
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank
Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“The music moves me, but it moves me ugly.”
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank

“You're a wimp, Bobby. I'll say it. I mean you're afraid of women. It's kinda embarrassing.”
John Travolta - Woody Stevens

“- Maggie: That's too bad. I wanted you to try my chili. It's pretty hot.
- Dudley Frank: No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss. Eat.”
Marisa Tomei - Maggie
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank

“- Jack: You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you wanna see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you're not here in half an hour to settle this, I'm gonna take the fine out on your friend's legs! I'm gonna break 'em with this tire iron!
- Dudley Frank: Don't bring the money!...” (continue)(continue reading)

Ray Liotta - Jack
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank

“- Doug Madsen: Well, what has your wife ever made us?
- Bobby Davis: Hard.”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“- Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
- Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids! How long ago was that?”
Bebe Drake - Mother-in-Law
Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“- Jack: Those assholes got balls.
- Red: That I'm gonna put them in my mouth and chew on!”
Ray Liotta - Jack
Kevin Durand - Red

“- Woody Stevens: That's not a discussion.
- Dudley Frank: Yeah, that's a lawsuit.”
John Travolta - Woody Stevens
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank

“- Woody Stevens: Come on, guys, we're exhausted. I think we should take the bikes back to the hotel, put them in a shed with the doors closed, and then play Scrabble in the room with the shades down.
- Doug Madsen: Look Aunt Bea, maybe you want to do something else here in Mayberry!”
John Travolta - Woody Stevens
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen