“Withnail and I” quotes
(1987)Plot – Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail’s uncle in the countryside. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he’s convinced there's something between them. Back in London, they find out that a drug dealer has set himself up in their house. When they decide to change life, one of them gets a role. It’s a hilarious movie that makes fun of the Shakespeare’s myth in a refined way.
All actors – Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths, Ralph Brown, Michael Elphick, Daragh O'Malley, Michael Wardle, Una Brandon-Jones, Noel Johnson, Irene Sutcliffe, Llewellyn Rees, Robert Oates
show all“Withnail and I” Quotes 22 quotes
“- ... & I: We're leaving in half an hour.
- Withnail: Half an hour? Don't be ridiculous. I need at least an hour for lunch.”“I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!”
“- Withnail: I've some extremely distressing news.
- ... & I: I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything. Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare.
- Withnail: We've just run out of wine. What are we gonna do about it?
- ... & I: I don't know, I don't know. Oh God, I don't feel good. My thumbs have gone weird! I'm in the...” (continue)(continue reading)“Jesus, look at that. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. I must be ill.”
“Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.”
“- Monty: You're going to finish the vegetables.
- Withnail: I don't know how to do them.
- Monty: Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? You don't deserve such loyalty. Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato.”“We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!”
“This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. You undo your valve and...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Time change. You lose, you gain. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing, and then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores.”
“We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning.”
“- Marwood: If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money.
- Withnail: If your father was my father you wouldn't get it.”“I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.”
“- Danny: My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. His name's Presuming Ed. His sister give him the idea. She got a doll on Christmas that pisses itself. Then you gotta change its diapers for it. It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well.
- Withnail: Shits itself?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)“- ... & I: Give me a Valium, I'm getting the fear!
- Danny: You have done something to your brain. You have made it high. If I lay 10 mls of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. You will make it low. Why trust one drug and not the other?”“There must and shall be aspirin!”
“- Danny: The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. It can utilise up to 12 skins. It is called a Camberwell Carrot.
- ... & I: It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint.
- Danny: It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less.
- Withnail: Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot?
- Danny: I do. I invented it in Camberwell,...” (continue)(continue reading)“- ... & I: You never discuss your family do you?
- Withnail: I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. I've absolutely no interest in yours. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine.”
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