Adoption quotes

“- Mr. Peabody: Bad parents make bad children!
- Flo Healy: Oh so now I'm a bad parent just because I hate my kid!
- Mr. Peabody: You took him, he's yours!
- Little Ben Healy: That's because you conned us into him!
- Mr. Peabody: What am I supposed to do with the little creep? He's already been returned 30 times!”
Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody
Amy Yasbeck - Flo Healy
John Ritter - Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.

“- Stan Bobrucz: Why don't we just keep it.
- Mr. Bobrucz: Grow up! You had a gerbil last year, you forgot to feed it, it died. This baby is going up for adoption, period.
- Donna Elliot: No. Darcy is not going to lug this baby around for nine months and get stretch marks so you could give it up to Catholic charities.”
Randall Batinkoff - Stan Bobrucz
Kenneth Mars - Mr. Bobrucz
Miriam Flynn - Donna Elliot

“- Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.: Dad, we adopted.
- Benjamin 'Big Ben' Healy, Sr.: Are you insane?
- Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.: I thought you'd be happy.
- Benjamin 'Big Ben' Healy, Sr.: Happy? You don't know what you're letting yourself in for. For all you know, his parents may have met in the looney bin. They might even be democrats!”
John Ritter - Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.
Jack Warden - Benjamin 'Big Ben' Healy, Sr.

“This orphan stuff is like growing up in a dog pound. Everybody wants puppies.”
Mary-Kate Olsen - Amanda Lemmon

“- Sonny Koufax: I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid.
- Phil D'Amato: Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it?
- Sonny Koufax: Yeah...
- Phil D'Amato: Well, this is kinda...” (continue)(continue reading)

Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Allen Covert - Phil D'Amato

“- Mickey Meyer: That's it! I'm never doing it, nobody's touching mine!
- Barbara: Don't you want to have a baby?
- Mickey Meyer: I'll buy one.”
Ben Terzulli - Mickey Meyer
Sarah Joy Stevenson - Barbara

“We've adopted Satan!”

John Ritter - Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.

“- Christina Crawford (child): I wanna know... why did you adopt me?
- Joan Crawford: Maybe I did it for a little extra publicity... [realizes what she has just said] Tina! That's not true! You know that's not true.
- Christina Crawford (child): But maybe just a little true?”
Mara Hobel - Christina Crawford (child)
Faye Dunaway - Joan Crawford

“Why's Mom crying? Mom? I'm not angry at you for putting me up for adoption. And now that I'm a Stout again, I'll always be here to take care of you. Because that's what friends do. Mom, they... they take care of each other.”
Michael J. Fox - Stuart Little

“Mr. and Mrs. Little, we try to discourage couples from adopting outside of their own... species. It rarely works out.”
Julia Sweeney - Mrs. Keeper

“Adopted children are luckiest because they were chosen.”
Mara Hobel - Christina Crawford (child)

“- Lawrence Bourne Jr: I must say it doesn't surprise me. You have been a constant disappointment to your mother and me ever since the day we brought you home from the orphanage.
- Lawrence Bourne III: Stop it, dad. You know I'm not adopted.
- Lawrence Bourne Jr: I know, but please, just allow me this little fantasy.”

George Plimpton - Lawrence Bourne Jr.
Tom Hanks - Lawrence Bourne III