Advertising quotes

“- Recruiter: What if I told you we can cure your cancer? And what's more, give you abilities most mean only dream of?
- Wade: I'd say that you sound like an infomercial, but not a good one, like Slap Chop. More Shake Weight-y.”
Jed Rees - Recruiter
Ryan Reynolds - Wade

“Awards sell tickets, and they're a clever publicity stunt.”
Tony Randall

“All of us here at Schooner Tuna sympathize with all of you hit so hard by these trying economic times. In order to help you, we are reducing the price of Schooner Tuna by 50 cents a can. When this crisis is over, we will go back to our regular prices. Until then, remember, we're all in this together. Schooner Tuna. The tuna with a heart.”
Graham Jarvis - Humphries

“Publicity can be terrible. But only if you don't have any.”
Jane Russell

“Note to self: making love to blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.”
Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver

I've got an idea for one of your commercials. You see... a carpenter, making a beautiful chair. And then one of your robots comes in and makes a better chair twice as fast. And then you superimpose on the screen, "USR: Shittin' on the Little Guy". That would be the fade-out.

Will Smith - Del Spooner

“When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say 'ok'?”

Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

“- Mike Michaelson: The show has generated enormous revenues now equivalent to the gross national product of a small country.
- Christof: People forget it takes the population of an entire country to keep the show running.
- Mike Michaelson: Since the show is on 24 hours a day without commercial interruption, all those staggering revenues are...” (continue)(continue reading)
Harry Shearer - Mike Michaelson
Ed Harris - Christof

“Why go on living when we can bury you for $49.50?”

“Metamucil. It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you get cancer and die.”
J. T. Walsh - Drucker

“I see stardom very clearly as a construct that's been created in order to sell things.”
Julie Christie

“Nine out of 10 people who recognize me recognize me from the commercials.”
Justin Long

“I hate to have to do this, but there's a speech clause in my contract. I know you guys have been reading the papers. That this is just a thing for publicity, part of my ongoing feud with Leonard Huff. But it would selfish of me to put you guys in such a jam just for publicity. No my motivation is deeper than that. It's ego.”

Scott Bakula - Gus Cantrell

“I loved cutting together simple commercials about margarine or soft drinks - all kinds of silly products - but I tried to make the commercials different.”
Renny Harlin

“I've never had a personal publicity man working for me.”
Don Siegel

- Katy: Hey, Droz, how 'bout this: tonight, at the Pit, "everyone gets laid".
- James 'Droz' Andrews: It's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I love it.

Megan Ward - Katy
Jeremy Piven - James 'Droz' Andrews

“Try blue, it's the new red!”

Sigourney Weaver - Ship's Computer

“- Cinna: Did they explain about trying to get sponsors?
- Katniss Everdeen: Yeah, but I'm not very good at making friends.”
Lenny Kravitz - Cinna
Jennifer Lawrence - Katniss Everdeen

“- Time Lincoln: You know, I don't advertise this, but I can bring him back to life.
- Master Shake: Ha ha! Yeah right! I bet you can't!
- Time Lincoln: Oh yeah? How much you wanna bet, bro?”

Fred Armisen - Time Lincoln
Dana Snyder - Master Shake

“Attention all shoppers. If you have a sweet tooth, we have a special treat for you. If your purchases in the next half hour amount to five dollars or more, we'll give you a bag of hard candy free! For the kiddies, or enjoy yourself. So hurry and do your shopping!”
Christine Forrest - Monroeville Mall Announcer

“I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red then fuck you.”

Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby

“- Doctor Paul Novotny: Bill Hardy has been a good test subject for us before.
- Alex Gardner: Oh, he's a steel worker. I'll probably wind up in some bad beer commercial.”
Max von Sydow - Doctor Paul Novotny
Dennis Quaid - Alex Gardner

“You can make a great product. But you have to convince people that what you're selling is greater. We're not selling computers. We're selling what they can do with a computer.”
Matthew Modine - John Sculley

- Lex Luthor: There's nothing wrong with a good fight. Just remember, the man of tomorrow is forged by his battles today.
- Clark Kent: Could I use that? I mean, "the man of tomorrow" for my slogan?
- Lex Luthor: Knock yourself out.

Michael Rosenbaum - Lex Luthor
Tom Welling - Clark Kent

“How about this? Ocean Breeze Soap: It's just like taking an ocean cruise, only there's no boat and you don't actually go anywhere.”
Dave Goelz - Bill the Frog