Airplane quotes

“- John Matrix: What's wrong?
- Cindy: This isn't a plane, this is a canoe with wings!
- John Matrix: Well then, get in and start paddling!”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - John Matrix
Rae Dawn Chong - Cindy

“- Al: I've never been on a plane before.
- Joe: Neither have I. So what? We're only young once.”
Art Carney - Al
George Burns - Joe

“- Aaron: This should show you how much I like working for you, Christina... 'cause normally I don't fly for anyone.
- Christina: That's nice dear, now let's get over it.”

Dylan Walsh - Aaron
Terry Moore - Christina

“- Brannigan: You think you got problems? I gotta to take my wife and kids on vacation. I've got a plane to catch in 3 hours.
- Dooley: Plane? You said plane?
- Brannigan: But I ain't gonna catch the plane because I gotta wait here for the SWAT team.
- Dooley: Can I have the dog if I get you on the plane? You're airborne, you're airborne!
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ed O'Neill - Brannigan
Jim Belushi - Dooley

“- Kate Hellman: Do something!
- Michael Jordon: I am doing something! I'm crashing an airplane!”
Gilda Radner - Kate Hellman
Gene Wilder - Michael Jordon

“- Stewardess Stacey: Sir, there's no smoking on airplanes.
- Don Ready: I know! It's ridiculous, isn't it? Don't worry about it, I'll be quick.”
Kristen Schaal - Stewardess Stacey
Jeremy Piven - Don Ready

“- Nick: The exits are located here and here. In the quite likely event of an emergency, put your head between your knees...
- Fetcher: and kiss your bum goodbye!”

Timothy Spall - Nick
Phil Daniels - Fetcher

“Everyone has sex on aeroplanes.”
Rufus Sewell - Frank

“- Joe: You can get some sleep on the plane!
- Al: You kiddin'? I could sooner fall asleep on a roller coaster. I don't like them jets. I don't trust no plane that ain't got no propellers.”

George Burns - Joe
Art Carney - Al

“- Isabelle: You pilots are such... men.
- Capt. Joe Patroni: They don't call it the cockpit for nothing, honey.”
Sylvia Kristel - Isabelle
George Kennedy - Capt. Joe Patroni

“- Capt. Joe Patroni: I've flown just about every type of aircraft through three wars and forty pounds. Only thing I'm afraid of is heights. Are you afraid of anything, Metrand?
- Capt. Paul Metrand: American pilots.”
George Kennedy - Capt. Joe Patroni
Alain Delon - Capt. Paul Metrand

“- Launchpad: Please put your seats back in an upright position.
- Scrooge: Just put the plane up in an upright position!”
Terence McGovern - Launchpad
Alan Young - Scrooge McDuck

“- First Secretary: This is the First Secretary. I am speaking to the individual who has stolen the property of the U.S.S.R. Can your hear me, Mr. Gant?
- Mitchell Gant: We're getting the royal treatment.”

Stefan Schnabel - First Secretary
Clint Eastwood - Mitchell Gant

“You can't have an air raid without bombs!”
Robert Stack - Maj. Gen. Joseph W. Stilwell

“You know these things are made of metal, right? Did you ever try and pick one up? You can't. You know why? Because it's made of metal, and metal's heavy. Very heavy. You don't believe me? Just try and pick one of these things up. You'll see. You'll wrench your back, that's what you'll do. Air isn't heavy, you know? This pile of junk is heavy....” (continue)(continue reading)

Richard Masur - 2nd Lieut. Jerry Cimino

“My engine's on fire! Can you believe that? And I was in such a good mood!”
John Goodman - Al Yackey

“What I heard is that the moment the plane went down, Eric was alone in his room and without anybody even telling him anything, he started to pretend to fly. It's like, somehow, he knew his parents were about to crash. The way he figured he could save them was by being an airplane. He's been one ever since.”

Lucy Deakins - Milly

“- Frank Corvin: Hawk, this isn't a stripped-down showplane. You've got to do it their way.
- Hawk Hawkins: I don't need a damn computer to tell me how to land an aircraft.
- Roger Hines: It's not an aircraft, Colonel. It's a flying brick, and you've got to use the computer's protocols.”

Clint Eastwood - Frank Corvin
Tommy Lee Jones - Hawk Hawkins
Courtney B. Vance - Roger Hines

“I like choppers, they're like birds.”
Anthony Mannino - Gordie Jones - The Black Tigers

“- Stewardess: Madame, you're supposed to stay in your seat until the plane comes to a complete stop.
- Connie Russo: Honey, forget about it!”
Mercedes Ruehl - Connie Russo

“Statistically, the chance of a plane going down because of turbulence is less than what, one in a billion? Or is it a million? I can't remember if it's...”

Arjay Smith - Brian Parks

“- Lisa: Come on. Drink up.
- Travis: Don't you have a plane to catch?
- Lisa: Wasted is the only way to fly.”

Jacinda Barrett - Lisa
Matthew Davis - Travis Stark

“- Jack Ryan: I can never sleep on a plane. Turbulence.
- Flight Attendant: Pardon?
- Jack Ryan: Turbulence. Solar radiation heats the Earth's crust, warm air rises, cold air descends - turbulence. I, I don't like that.”
Alec Baldwin - Jack Ryan

“- 1st Lt. Luke Sinclair: Fuel gauge is shot. How long can we fly on one engine?
- Capt. Dennis Dearborn: I don't know. I guess we'll find out.”
Tate Donovan - 1st Lt. Luke Sinclair
Matthew Modine - Capt. Dennis Dearborn

“- General Vladimirov: The infrared guidance system is not the most accurate. It may be necessary for a Soviet aircraft to act as a target. Will you give that order?
- First Secretary: Of course.”

Klaus Löwitsch - General Vladimirov
Stefan Schnabel - First Secretary