Birthday quotes

“- Fletcher Reede: Hey, creepy. Happy Birthday. How old are you now? 22? 23?
- Max Reede: I'm 5, Dad.
- Fletcher Reede: Okay. [pretends to write] Return the beer keg. Cancel the dancing girls.”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Justin Cooper - Max Reede

“- Donna Jensen: You're breaking up with me, in a birthday card? Why?
- Tommy Boulay: Because they don't make breaking-up cards?”
Gwyneth Paltrow - Donna Jensen
Marc Blucas - Tommy Boulay

“Thirteenth birthday is unlucky anyway. Too old to get tit, too young to get ass... fucked either way.”
Ving Rhames - Leroy

“You bought me a grave-post for my 38th birthday?”

Steve Martin - Roger Cobb

“A week ago, the only thing I thought was out of the ordinary was that it was my birthday.”
Jim Carrey - Walter Sparrow

“- Dr. Bill Capa: If I had known it was your birthday, I'd have come by tomorrow.
- Hector Martinez: Me too.”
Bruce Willis - Bill Capa
Rubén Blades - Martinez

“- Jake: Thanks for coming over.
- Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me.
- Jake: Happy Birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
- Samantha: It already came true.”
Michael Schoeffling - Jake
Molly Ringwald - Samantha

“- Virginia Wainwright: There's a party at Ann Thomerson's house. I heard them talking.
- Estelle Wainwright: Why didn't they invite you?
- Virginia Wainwright: Mom, they don't even know me.
- Estelle Wainwright: Those goddamn little snots. We'll show them. If they won't come to our party, we'll go to theirs.”

Melissa Sue Anderson - Virginia Wainwright
Sharon Acker - Estelle Wainwright

“- Sister Doris: Do you like birthday parties, Leonard... I mean, LeeJohn?
- LeeJohn: I don't know. I never had one.
- Sister Doris: You never had a birthday party?
- LeeJohn: When they took me to my foster home, they lost my birth certificate. So, nobody never knew when my birthday was.”
Loretta Devine - Sister Doris
Tracy Morgan - LeeJohn

“- Dr. Bailey: How have you been feeling?
- Corinne Jeffries: Fantastic. It was Louie's birthday on Saturday. I baked him a cake with little cherries on it.
- Dr. Bailey: I thought we agreed that you were going to stop cooking for him.
- Corinne Jeffries: It was his birthday. It makes me happy to feed him. The Egyptians fed their dead.
- Dr....” (continue)(continue reading)
James Noble - Dr. Bailey
Cybill Lynne Shepherd - Corinne Jeffries

“- Anne-Marie: Come on, Chawhee! You can do it, it's your birthday!
- Itchy Itchiford: I don't care if it's his bar mitzvah. That horse is a gluepot.”

Judith Barsi - Anne-Marie
Dom DeLuise - Itchy Itchiford

“- Bobby: The birthday girl. You can't be thirty-five. You don't look a day over twenty.
- Dierdre: You're a liar Bobby, but I love you for it.”

Ben Affleck - Bobby Walker
Dana Eskelson - Dierdre

“I have nightmares about birthday parties.”
Mikey Kelley - Michelangelo

“- Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon): Happy birthday for yesterday. I mean that, sincerely, happy birthday, man.
- Roger Murtaugh (Lethal Weapon): Thanks.
- Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon): Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.”
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh

“- Novalee Nation: No fives!
- Nicki: You and your fives.
- Rhonda: What fives?
- Novalee Nation: On my fifth birthday my mama ran off with a baseball umpire named Fred and never came back. And after I dropped out of school and was waiting tables at Red's, one of the regulars there named Gladys went crazy. When I tried to calm her down she jumped...” (continue)(continue reading)
Natalie Portman - Novalee Nation
Laura House - Nicki
Karey Green - Rhonda

“It's my anorexic boss' birthday. This means there's a certain amount of inter-office pressure to stand around the conference table, eating crappy food and pretending to worship her.”
James McAvoy - Wesley

“I don't work January the 8th, 'cause it's Elvis' birthday.”
Gary Busey - Dell

“- Charley Butts: I turned 35 today. Some birthday! When's your birthday?
- Frank Morris: I don't know.
- Charley Butts: Geez, what kind of childhood did you have?
- Frank Morris: Short.”
Larry Hankin - Charley Butts
Clint Eastwood - Frank Morris

“- Kevin: What's this?
- Lucy: It's your birthday present, fuck head, open it.”
Paul Rudd - Kevin
Courtney Love - Lucy

“You should see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door!”

John Candy - Buck Russell

“- Archie: Cheer up, old man! What's gotten into you?
- Maurice Hall: Would you believe - it's my birthday.”
Michael Jenn - Archie
James Wilby - Maurice Hall

“- Scott Larson: My brother doesn't know I exist, he didn't even remember my birthday.
- Laura - Yellow Team: When's your birthday?
- Scott Larson: Today.”
Michael J. Fox - Scott - Yellow Team
Debra Clinger - Laura - Yellow Team

“- Social Security Clerk: Do you have evidence of birth?
- Simon Wilder: I'm sitting here ain't I lady? What do you think, I happened by spontaneous combustion?”
Mary Seibel - Social Security Clerk
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder

“- Bill Ray: Well, how does it feel to turn eighty?
- Norman Thayer Jr.: Twice as bad as it did turning forty.”
Dabney Coleman - Bill Ray
Henry Fonda - Norman Thayer Jr.

“- Lagarto: Hermanos Rodriguez do not approve of drugs.
- Marlene: Neither do I, but it's my birthday.”
Del Zamora - Lagarto
Vonetta McGee - Marlene