Clergy quotes

“Reverend, you've got balls as big as church bells.”

Dabney Coleman - Jerry Caesar

“- Killjoy: They don't castrate clergy. Just in case.
- Roscoe: Just in case of what?
- Killjoy: Just in case there really is a god.”
John Matuszak - Killjoy
Michael D. Roberts - Roscoe

“You don't become a nun to run away from life, Patsy. It's not because you've lost something. It's because you've found something.”
Ingrid Bergman - Sister Mary Benedict

“- Brother Timothy: Most people can't figure it out. My brother was the one who was supposed to have the vocation. Me, they had me written off as the bum. But here I am, wearing a robe, bouncing a ball off the steps of the rectory.
- Michael Dunn: Was your brother a bum?
- Brother Timothy: Sort of. Sells life insurance down in Maryland.”
John Heard - Brother Timothy
Andrew McCarthy - Michael Dunn

“- Howard Terke: How about it, Tom? Can you get your brother the monsignor to say a mass for this cunt? It'll make the front page.
- Det. Tom Spellacy: Howard, we don't even know yet whether or not she was a Catholic cunt.”

Dan Hedaya - Howard Terkel
Robert Duvall - Det. Tom Spellacy

“- Brother Thadeus: We all come to the order, full of ideas... and we often find that we have much to learn ourselves. Nevertheless, authority must never be undermined by the display of dissent among the faculty. For the students' sake, you understand.
- Brother Timothy: No, I don't understand.
- Brother Thadeus: Then you should try to restrain...” (continue)(continue reading)
Donald Sutherland - Brother Thadeus
John Heard - Brother Timothy

“- Esteban: What commands priests to wear such strange clothing?
- Bunny Wigglesworth: We are followers of Peter the Dressmaker. He was Christ's tailor.”
Ron Leibman - Esteban
George Hamilton - Bunny Wigglesworth

“You knew that whore and you didn't tell anyone. You're a priest, a priest. How's that going to look in the papers.”

Charles Durning - Jack Amsterdam

“Most priests like to preach from the pulpit. Father Bobby liked to talk during the bump and shove of a pick-up game.”
Jason Patric - Shakes

“- Lieutenant: Open this door in the name of His Holiness the Bishop of Aquila.
- Imperius: Be off with you. This is a house of God, not a brothel.
- Lieutenant: I said open this door in the name of His Grace, the Bishop of Aquila.
- Imperius: I've met the bishop, you blasphemous lout. And you look nothing like him.”
Russel Case - Lieutenant
Leo McKern - Imperius

“- Oda Mae Brown: I know you don't think I'm giving this 4 million dollars to a bunch of nuns!
- Sam Wheat: Think of it this way, you'll go to Heaven.
- Oda Mae Brown: I don't want to go to Heaven, I want to go to the bank and cash a goddamn check!”
Whoopi Goldberg - Oda Mae Brown
Patrick Swayze - Sam Wheat

“The stranger has been known to masquerade as a priest wearing high heeled shoes.”

“- Michael Dunn: If Gram sees you smoking she'll have a heart attack.
- Boo: If she's hears you talking about not being a priest she'll have a stroke.”
Andrew McCarthy - Michael Dunn
Jennifer Dundas - Boo