Clergymen quotes

“- Matt: Isn't part of the priestly thing giving relationship advice?
- John: Relationship advice, yes - sex advice, no. Part of the priestly thing is not to have sex, remember?
- Matt: It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing, at least for some.”
Josh Hartnett - Matt
Adam Trese - John

Imagine it, Joe, a priest wanting you to wear bonnets. I said, "No, Father. No bonnets. Not until you fork out the chocolates". Man, Joe, you should've seen the face on him.
Eamonn Owens - Francie Brady

“Every person who chooses the service of God as his life's work has something in common. I don't care if you're a preacher, a priest, a nun, a rabbi or a Buddhist monk. Many, many times during your life you will look at your reflection in a mirror and ask yourself: am I a fool?”
Harvey Keitel - Jacob Fuller

“- Seth Gecko: What are you, Jacob? A faithless preacher? Or a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?
- Jacob Fuller: I'm a mean, mhm mhm servant of God.”
George Clooney - Seth Gecko
Harvey Keitel - Jacob Fuller

“- Miranda: Father Tony... What are you doing in the pool?
- Brother Tony: The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
Jennifer Tilly - Miranda
Peter Gallagher - Brother Tony

“- Bugatti: There's a rumor that before you joined the precinct you were a priest.
- John Travis: I was a seminary student, I didn't make it as far as priesthood.
- Bugatti: Still, that is some kind of makeover. What happened?
- John Travis: I found another way to fight him... Okay, ready?
- Bugatti: ...Fight who?”
Michael Gaston - Det. Frank Bugatti
Jimmy Smits - John Travis

“- Jeffrey: Wait! You're really a priest?
- Father Dan: Of course.
- Jeffrey: But... I mean, aren't you supposed to be straight and celibate?
- Father Dan: Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm a catholic priest. Historically, that falls somewhere between chorus boy and florist.”

Steven Weber - Jeffrey
Nathan Lane - Father Dan

“I don't care what the priests say. I think we should do as we feel.”

Minnie Driver - Benny

“- Alan Dershowitz: Well, a priest is the ideal witness: it's like getting the word of God.
- Claus von Bülow: I checked. God is unavailable.”
Ron Silver - Alan Dershowitz
Jeremy Irons - Claus von Bülow

“I think you're an overeducated 27-year-old virgin who likes to hold the hands of superstitious old ladies and promise them everlasting life.”

Clint Eastwood - Walt Kowalski

“I have been a priest over 40 years, and I fell in love at least once every decade.”
Edward Norton - Father Brian Finn

“- Miranda: So, I was seeing this guy and he's a devil worshiper, right? Well, he's a hairdresser really, but he devil-worships on the side. And we booked this dumb tour because, you know, he likes ghosts, dead gerbils, that kind of thing... and he ran off with this Bhuddist monk! I mean, how I was supposed to know he was gay? So what about you,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jennifer Tilly - Miranda
Peter Gallagher - Brother Tony

“A priest, it's like a nun with a jacket.”
Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody

“- Elena: Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession.
- Alejandro Murrieta: Three days? How many sins could you have committed in three days? Come back when you have more time, please.”

Catherine Zeta-Jones - Elena
Antonio Banderas - Alejandro Murrieta

“When you bury me... no priests!”
Anthony Hyde - Man in Black

My old man... was a preacher. And when I started messin' with this shit, he said, "you gonna pay for that. You gonna pay for that shit, boy". He was right. You can't cheat this shit no... mo'.
Thomas Jefferson Byrd - Errol Barnes

“- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: I command you to leave this child at once!
- Nancy Aglet: Make me, slimeball.
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: I am a priest!
- Nancy Aglet: Oh, pardon me, your most reverent and holy slimeball!”

Leslie William Nielsen - Father Jebedaiah Mayii
Linda Blair - Nancy Aglet