Job quotes

“- Peter: I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door, that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh, and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.
- Bob Porter: Da uh? Space out?
- Peter: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too....” (continue)(continue reading)

Ron Livingston - Peter
Paul Willson - Bob Porter

“I did think about asking you to join my little scheme but somehow I knew, 007's loyalty was always to the mission, never to his friend.”
Sean Bean - Alec Trevelyan

“Indeed, Mrs. Brill, I wouldn't stay in this house another minute for all the jewels in Christendom!”
Elsa Lanchester - Katie Nanna

“Hollywood doesn't want writers, so much as secretaries with a flare for dialogue. If you want to be happy in Hollywood, be a cinematographer. Nobody knows what you're doing, so they can't screw with you.”
Sir Kenneth Branagh - Peter McGowan

“It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.”
Virginia Smith - Caged Animal Masturbator

“- CC Bloom: Harry, did you catch that set? Those people loved me! So, I was wondering if I could borrow fifty dollars until pay day.
- Harry: No.
- CC Bloom: What the hell is this, a piano bar or a Nazi work camp? I'm singing my heart out for bupkus, peanuts. I'm eating dog food and you can't even give me fifty dollars you already owe me [Harry...” (continue)(continue reading)
Bette Midler - CC Bloom
Robert Ball - Harry

“- Patty: Didn't you like, used to mow our lawn?
- Ronald Miller: Yes, and you have the nicest pair of rhododendrons in town!
- Patty: Rhodo-who's?
- Cindy Mancini: Guys, I'll see you in home ec, OK?
- Barbara: What did he say?
- Patty: I don't care! Dig on his shirt...”
Darcy DeMoss - Patty
Patrick Dempsey - Ronald Miller
Amanda Peterson - Cindy Mancini
Tina Caspary - Barbara

“I am just trying to work out whether you're a truck driver who writes books or a writer who drives trucks.”

Angie Milliken - Ziggy Keane

“- Vincent Lauria: This is my job, Eddie.
- Fast Eddie Felson: You think so? That's funny. I don't think so. I think it's your problem.”

Tom Cruise - Vincent Lauria
Paul Newman - Fast Eddie Felson

“- Insp. Jacques Clouseau: How long have you been a bellboy?
- Bellboy: Oh, too long, Monsieur.
- Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Keep up the good work, and I shall see to it you become a bell man.”
Peter Sellers - Clouseau
Mike Grady - Bellboy

“Yeah, yeah, I'm lickin' your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you've got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don't care. You just got big balls. Damn, I hate this job.”
Allen Payne - Euripides

“- Nina Ivanovna Yakushova aka Ninotchka: Why should you carry other people's bags?
- Porter: Well, that's my business, Madame.
- Nina Ivanovna Yakushova aka Ninotchka: That's no business. That's social injustice.
- Porter: That depends on the tip.”
Greta Garbo - Nina Ivanovna Yakushova aka Ninotchka

“- Henry Frankenstein: This is Professor Pretorius. He used to be Doctor of Philosophy at the university but, uh...
- Doctor Pretorius: But was booted out - booted, my dear Baron, is the word - for knowing too much.”

Colin Clive - Dr. Frankenstein
Ernest Thesiger - Doctor Pretorius

“- Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
- Professor Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
- Wadsworth: So your work has not changed.”
Tim Curry - Wadsworth
Chris Lloyd - Professor Plum

“- Leo: Ah, the tracking device I placed in his underwear seems to be working.
- Himmel Shank: Why does Leo get all the good jobs?”
Tom McCleister - Leo
Edoardo Ballerini - Himmel Shank

“- Clothing Store Woman: Have you ever had experience?
- Sean: With what?
- Clothing Store Woman: Women's clothes?
- Sean: What the fuck would I be doing with women's clothes? What do I look like a transvestite? I'm not no fucking transvestite, all right?”

Joyce Cohen - Clothing Store Woman
Devon Sawa - Sean

“I did not spend six years in junior college to be a maid.”
Ally Sheedy - Jessie Montgomery

“- Village People: Leatherman: I'm from the Bronx. My name's Glenn Hughes.
- Samantha: What do you do, Glenn?
- Village People: Leatherman: I'm a toll collector at the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel.
- Norma White: Do all toll collectors look like that?
- Village People: Leatherman: Just the hot ones.”
Glenn Hughes - Village People: Leatherman
Valerie Perrine - Samantha
Barbara Rush - Norma White

“- Evelyn Carnahan: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
- Rick O'Connell: And what is that?
- Evelyn Carnahan: I... am a librarian.”
Rachel Weisz - Evelyn Carnahan
Brendan Fraser - Rick O'Connell

“- Catherine Boyd: He is a mechanic!
- Albert Einstein: I was a clerk in a patent office. Faraday was a carpenter. Isaac Newton was an insurance salesman.”

Meg Ryan - Catherine Boyd
Walter Matthau - Albert Einstein

“Man, you know I really like Jasmine. You know that, right? Man, you are never gonna get to fly the space shuttle if you marry a stripper.”
Harry Connick Jr. - Capt. Jimmy Wilder

“- Danny Noonan: I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.
- Judge Elihu Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.”
Michael O'Keefe - Danny Noonan
Ted Knight - Judge Elihu Smails

“- Ole Golly: Your father has a high pressure job.
- Harriet M. Welsch: What's a high pressure job?
- Ole Golly: It's when you don't get to do what you want to, and when you do, you don't have enough time for it.”
Rosie O'Donnell - Ole Golly
Michelle Trachtenberg - Harriet M. Welsch

- Luis Cali: What does your father do, William?
- William "Billy" Tepper: He's a contractor.
- Luis Cali: According to this he owns the third largest construction company in the world.
- William "Billy" Tepper: Yeah, he's a contractor.
Andrew Divoff - Luis Cali
Sean Astin - Billy Tepper

“I won't be a caddy all my life. I'm going to car-wash school in the fall.”
Jonathan Silverman - Harry