Nuns quotes

“- Alyssa Jones: How bad could it have been?
- Holden McNeil: Well, have you ever seen a nun call a small child a fucking cunt rag?”

Joey Lauren Adams - Alyssa Jones
Ben Affleck - Holden McNeil

- Jimmy Dolan: You're allowed to say "bullshit"?
- Sister Susan: Only if I really mean it.
Kevin Bacon - Jimmy Dolan
Yolanda Vazquez - Sister Susan

“- Mother Superior: Damn! Lost another one!
- Nun: Son of a bitch.”

Lillian Carlson - Mother Superior
Nicole Robert - Nun

“- Mother Superior: She isn't a nun. Her real name is Deloris van Cartier. She witnessed a vicious murder and has been hiding in our convent.
- Choir Nun: She... she lied to us?
- Mary Patrick: She wasn't a nun?
- Mary Robert: But she made us sing so perfectly!
- Mary Patrick: Now that should have tipped us...”

Maggie Smith - Mother Superior
Ellen Albertini Dow - Choir Nun
Kathy Najimy - Mary Patrick
Wendy Makkena - Mary Robert

“- Rudy: You've seen how bad business is. Thanks to Fuchs, our name is mud! Look... we had nuns, protesting out front when I got here this morning.
- Jeff: Nuns?
- Rudy: Yeah. I had to have Jim turn the firehose on them.
- Big Jim: And I knocked them motherfuckers right on they asses, too.”
Kurt Russell - Rudy Russo
Gerrit Graham - Jeff
Frank McRae - Jim the Mechanic

“You and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right. I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.”

Fred Willard - Ed Harken

“Could you act like nuns?”

Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody

“- Sister Superior: I've seen bullet wounds. I've been a missionary.
- Faith: Where?
- Sister Superior: East L. A.”
Janet Suzman - Sister Superior
Camille Coduri - Faith

“She's like a nun. You know why they're called nuns? They ain't got none. They don't want none and they ain't ever gonna get none.”

David Rasche - Buddy Wheeler

- Elwood Blues: You promised you'd visit the "Penguin" the day you got out of prison.
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Yeah... so I lied to her.
- Elwood Blues: You can't lie to a nun, Jake. We're gonna go in, and see the "Penguin".
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues
John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues

“- Nun: Have you ever been down the Yellow River?
- Leon: ...Yea, once in the '80s but I did not enjoy it...”
Joan Messiah - Nun
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

- Neil Bookman: "The Angry Nun" by Neil Bookman: "Bitch! Whore of Jesus! Dressed in black, you do not bleed, like a woman should bleed between the legs! But with your ruler, your crucifix of hatred, you strike my tender flesh! I bleed for you! Oh, mother".
- Deirdre Burroughs: Good anger! It ended exactly at the right moment.
Joseph Fiennes - Neil Bookman
Annette Bening - Deirdre Burroughs

“- Carl Brutananadilewski: Yah thousands of years ago I kicked your ass... and I'm going to do it again right now!
- Cybernetic Ghost: That is what Sister Margaret kept telling me if I displayed my physically agenda in her bathroom.”
Dave Willis - Carl Brutananadilewski
Matt Maiellaro - Cybernetic Ghost

“- Anna Baragli: It doesn't mean I don't love you.
- Hudson Hawk: Oh, no! You love me! It's your job! You probably love Butterfinger over there.
- Anna Baragli: In a weird sort of Catholic way, I do.”

Andie MacDowell - Anna Baragli
Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk

“- Jimmy Dolan: Sister! You're allowed to kiss?
- Sister Susan: Only if I really mean it!”

Kevin Bacon - Jimmy Dolan
Yolanda Vazquez - Sister Susan

“- Toulouse-Lautrec: The hills are made with the euphonious symphonies of descant...
- Doctor: I don't think a nun would say that about a hill.”

John Leguizamo - Toulouse-Lautrec
Garry McDonald - The Doctor

“Well I'm a nun, not a saint!”

Johanna ter Steege - Sister Wilhelminia

“I never gave a ticket to a nun before. I gave a ticket to a guy from the IRS one time. Got audited the next year. I'll tell you what, this time I'll let this one slide, but keep your speed down, yeah?”

Clancy Brown - State Trooper

“I am going to Bangkok to assume a missionary position.”

Joan Messiah - Nun

“- Mother Superior: There are 3 vows every nun must accept: The vow of poverty. The vow of obedience.
- Deloris: Mm-Hmm.
- Mother Superior: And the vow of chastity.
- Deloris: I am outta here with that.”
Maggie Smith - Mother Superior
Whoopi Goldberg - Deloris

“- Sister Mary of the Annunciation: You know, I saw two men last night.
- Charlie McManus: Oh, I'm sure it was just a nightmare.”
Lila Kaye - Sister Mary of the Annunciation
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“I like to help people. I am like Mother Theresa... but of bonin'.”
Tim meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Mr. Peabody: Maybe all Junior needs is to be loved.
- Mother Superior: Let's cut the crap, Mr. Peabody. Either Junior goes or you find yourself some new nuns.”
Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody
Helena Humann - Mother Superior

“- Howard Marner: What if it goes out and melts down a bus load of nuns? How would you like to write the headline on that one?
- Benjamin Jabituya: Nun soup?”

Austin Pendleton - Howard Marner
Fisher Stevens - Ben Jabituya

“- Sister Helen Prejean: Show me some respect, Matthew.
- Matthew Poncelet: Why? 'Cause you're a nun?
- Sister Helen Prejean: Because I'm a person.”
Susan Sarandon - Sister Helen Prejean
Sean Penn - Matthew Poncelet