Prison quotes

“- 1967 Parole Hearings Man: Do you feel you've been rehabilitated?
- Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding: Rehabilitated? Well, now let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means.
- 1967 Parole Hearings Man: Well, it means that you're ready to rejoin society...
- Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding: I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it's just...” (continue)(continue reading)
Brian Brophy - 1967 Parole Hearings Man
Morgan Freeman - Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding

“We're sequestered. And on top of that we can't even leave! This is just great.”
Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell

“Don't fuck with me 'cause I'm the most dangerous man in this prison. You know why? 'Cause I control the underwear.”

Guy Torry - Lamont

“- Glenda Gardenia Parks: If you're innocent, they'll never send you to jail.
- Nick Gardenia: Is that how it works, Chester?
- Chester: Not in my neighborhood.”
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks
Chevy Chase - Nicholas Gardenia
T.K. Carter - Chester

“- O'Niel: Hey, Sheppard. Guess what I just found in a meat locker.
- Sheppard: Y'know, I have a feeling that you'll tell me even if I don't guess.
- O'Niel: 250 pounds of hamburger named Yario that works for you. I also found your shipment of PDE. So, I threw the hamburger in the jail, and the PDE in the toilet. Or was it the other way around? I...” (continue)(continue reading)

Sir Sean Connery - O'Niel
Peter Boyle - Sheppard

“- Prison Guard: Is something burning?
- Frank Morris: What? I don't smell nothing.
- Prison Guard: It must be my imagination. Working nights really gets to you.
- Frank Morris: You should try it from my side.”
Clint Eastwood - Frank Morris

“I had enough bad luck to keep me laughin' the rest of my life. Sat in that jail. I sat in that jail ’til I nearby done rot to death. I know what it’s like, Ms. Celie, to wanna go somewhere and can’t.”
Oprah Winfrey - Sofia

“Do you know what happens to a cop in prison? You are brutalised every single day over and over... you become a human toilet.”
Leland Orser - Richard Thompson

“- Muriel: How's my little boy? Getting along ok, sweetie?
- Rocco: As well as a heterosexual can in prison. I don't know how much longer I can take it. How's Tanya?
- Muriel: Tanya's the same. Milky, creamy skin, pouting red lips, firm buttocks, ample breasts, ears you want to stick your tongue into.
- Rocco: Ma, please. I'm gonna get guy cramps...” (continue)(continue reading)

Kathleen Freeman - Muriel
Fred Ward - Rocco

“We're not talking about any ordinary prisoner, Hoffman! We are talking about evil on two legs.”

Donald Pleasence - Loomis

“Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement.”
Groucho Marx - Hammer

“- Sergeant Vincente: You're not out of here in 30 seconds, you got a night in jail!
- Billy Caufield: What kind of bonehead cop would send four confessed mental patients back out in the streets?”
Brad Sullivan - Sergeant Vincente
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

“It's a game out here. Everybody who plays the game understands the rules. I certainly understand the rules. The cop understands the rules. He's the good guy, I'm the bad guy, it's his job to catch me, it's my job not to get caught. And I will do everything I have to to stay ahead of the game. I've been to prison. I ain't going back. Nobody's...” (continue)(continue reading)
Kiefer Sutherland - Curtis Freley

- Heywood: The Count of Monte Crisco...
- Floyd: That's "Cristo" you dumb shit.
- Heywood: ...by Alexandree Dumb-ass. Dumb-ass.
- Andy Dufresne: Dumb-ass? "Dumas". You know what it's about? You'll like it, it's about a prison break.
- Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding: We oughta file that under "Educational" too, oughten we?

William Sadler - Heywood
Brian Libby - Floyd
Tim Robbins - Andy Dufresne
Morgan Freeman - Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding

“I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers.”
Richard Pryor - Gus Gorman

“Punishment means nothing to them, you can see that. They enjoy their so-called punishment.”
Anthony Sharp - Minister

“Any man playing grabass or fightin' in the building spends a night in the box.”
Clifton James - Carr

“This is your basic yoga, I learned it in prison. It's good for stressful situations like this bank robbery, or if you're ever in prison and you're surrounded by ten men, helps relax you.”
Jon Lovitz - Dave Firpo

“- Commander Clement: Twenty years ago today you were sentenced to jail.
- Yellowbeard: Yes, and now I'm due to released.
- Commander Clement: Yes. Or rather, no. You see, twenty years ago, no one was expected to live in jail for twenty years.”
Eric Idle - Commander Clement
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard

“Those men wanted to have sex with me!”

Dan Aykroyd - Louis Winthorpe III

“- Martin: You'll stay in here 'til you rot! Well, you're free to go!
- Renfield: Why? How?
- Martin: Good behavior.
- Renfield: But I've only been here for a moment.
- Martin: For that moment, you were very good.”
Mark Blankfield - Martin
Peter MacNicol - Renfield

“When you get there tell my wife that two years in prison camp is roughly equal to four years of marriage and I'm glad to be free of them both.”

Brad Pitt - Heinrich Harrer

“- Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
- John: Convicted? No.
- Russell: Never convicted.”

William Lucking - Recruiter
Bill Murray - John
Harold Ramis - Russell

“Boy, a guy goes to jail for a couple of days and the whole town goes to hell!”

Paul Newman - Sully

“- Susan Vance: Don't worry, Gogarty, I'll get you out.
- David Huxley: Oh, sure. Look, she got me out.”

Katharine Hepburn - Susan Vance
Cary Grant - David Huxley