Remedies quotes

“You should be finished by now girls. A laughter potion should be made quickly, in case it's needed in an emergency.”
Diana Rigg - Miss Constance Hardbroom

“I'm saying his sins will soon find him out. I'm saying his cup of iniquity is full. I'm saying Jesse James is a desperate case and may require a desperate remedy.”

James Carville - Governor Crittenden

“A cup of tea can solve anything. Bit under the weather? Tea. You left you husband? Tea is the answer.”
Emily Browning - Frances Shea

“- Therapist: Why do you come to see me every week?
- Kate: My boss said she'd fire me if I didn't get therapy.
- Therapist: Why do you think, she thinks you need therapy? Why?
- Kate: You know what, I haven't the faintest idea.”
Bob Balaban - Therapist
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Kate

“Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of.”

Everett Sloane - Mr. Bernstein

“- Ronald Camp: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately.
- Ace Ventura: Be sure that you do! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed!”
Udo Kerr - Ronald Camp
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura

“- Martin Brundle: You were there the night my father died; he was working on a cure.
- Stathis Borans: That's why you dragged yourself all the way out here? To find out about a cure?
- Martin Brundle: You're my only hope.”
Eric Stoltz - Martin Brundle
John Getz - Stathis Borans

“- Dr. Bill Capa: What do you give a suicidal patient who's got everything?
- Dr. Bob Moore: A parachute. I heard it already.”
Bruce Willis - Bill Capa
Scott Bakula - Bob Moore

“You bring in a sous chef from an Italian restaurant and I'm the one in therapy?”

Catherine Zeta-Jones - Kate

“- Abe: I'm glad you came, doctor. Maybe you can tell me what's wrong with my hand - it's been like this for a month.
- Lisa: Have you tried soaking it in melted butter?”
Alan King - Abe
JoBeth Williams - Lisa

“Nothing can be done. That's the unfortunate thing about death. It's so terribly final. Even the young can't do anything about it.”

Marie Dressler - Carlotta Vance

“- Jack Putter: How do you treat that?
- Dr. Greenbush: Well the medieval remedy was to flay the skin off your body with brands of fire. I have no idea what the current technique is.”

Martin Hayter Short - Jack Putter
William Schallert - Dr. Greenbush

“- Parole Officer: You better be there or you'll be having dinner with the sheriff.
[erupts into coughing fit]
- Parole Officer: You understand me, boy?
- Early Grayce: I understand you need to take care of that cough. Put a paper bag over your head and breathe deep. Works every time... peg-armed piece of shit.”
Judson Vaughn - Parole Officer
Brad Pitt - Early Grayce

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Karan Ashley - Aisha Campbell

“- J. Worthington Foulfellow: There is only one cure! A vacation! On Pleasure Island!
- Pinocchio: Pleasure Island?
- J. Worthington Foulfellow: Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where everyday's a holiday!”

Walter Catlett - J. Worthington Foulfellow
Dickie Jones - Pinocchio

“- J. Frank Parnell: One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.
- Otto: Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?”
Fox Harris - J. Frank Parnell
Emilio Estevez - Otto

“- Guard #2: She's dead.
- Hector Gomez: Hell, she isn't dead. This doctor shot her up with sodium pentothal to make this fellow think she was dead. So you wouldn't suck the blood outta her, you bastard.”

Joel Levine - Guard #2
Robert Beltran - Hector Gomez

“- Willa Weston: What are you doing?
- Vince McCain: I'm freezing him.
- Willa Weston: Why?
- Vince McCain: He's gotta be cryogenically frozen until they find a cure.”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Willa Weston
Kevin Kline - Vince McCain