Santa claus quotes

“- Boy: Santa doesn't drink champagne. Santa only drinks milk.
- George: Listen. Santa can't drink no more milk. Santa has a lactose intolerance, and it gives him horrible gas pains. Do you want to see Santa farting down everybody's chimney?”
Bill Raymond - George

“Maybe Santa won't come back next year. Maybe he and the Easter Bunny will take a fuckin' cruise to Jamaica and you can eat your own lousy cookies!”
Bill Raymond - George

“Santy Claus only brings presents to them that's been good all year. All the other ones, all the naughty ones, he punishes! What about you, boy? You been good all year?”
Will Hare - Grandpa

“- Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?
- B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.
- Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.”
Dudley Moore - Patch
John Lithgow - B.Z.

“- Hallie O'Fallon: I'm gonna ask Santa to get them back together again so we can have us back together again.
- Ethan O'Fallon: Now look Hallie, you can't ask Santa Claus for that
- Hallie O'Fallon: Why not?
- Ethan O'Fallon: Well because... he's jolly... he's a jolly fat guy and not a marriage counseller.”

Thora Birch - Hallie O'Fallon
Ethan Embry - Ethan O'Fallon

“- Herb: There's a girl there who will do anything you want for fifty dollars an hour.
- Ed Okin: Like what?
- Herb: Anything! If you want she'll dress like Santa Claus!
- Ed Okin: Will she bring me a pony?”
Dan Aykroyd - Herb
Jeff Goldblum - Ed Okin

“- Regina Belmont: What are you guys doing?
- Sarah: They said that if we breathe this, we can go to the North Pole to see Santa Claus.
- Regina Belmont: That's so sick!”
Catherine Mary Stewart - Regina Belmont
Janice Kawaye - Sarah

“- Laura: All Neal told him was that Santa was more of a feeling. More of a state of mind than an actual person.
- Scott Calvin: Kind of like Neal.”

Wendy Crewson - Laura
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin

“- Harmony: Don't say that to her! There is too a Santa, and this is his magic sack!
- Lacy: If that's Santa's sack, why do you have it?”

Noelle Parker - Harmony
Phran Gauci - Lacy

“- Denise: Cindy if, uh, you don't go back to bed... Santa won't come.
- Tommy: He's not the only one.”

Linnea Quigley - Denise
Leo Geter - Tommy

“- Davenport: You'll just fall asleep and then you'll see Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
- Brian: I don't believe in Santa Claus.
- Dr. Carter: What? You don't believe in Santa?”
Lissa Layng - Davenport
Chance Boyer - Brian
Geoffrey Lewis - Dr. Carter

“- Emmeline Lestrange: Oh Richard, you can't know everything. Only God knows everything.
- Richard Lestrange: God. He can't find us any better than Santa Claus.”
Brooke Shields - Emmeline Lestrange
Christopher Atkins - Richard Lestrange

“- Harmony Star: There's no such thing! Think about it: a guy who flies around the whole world in one night. It just doesn't quite correspond to the laws of time and travel.
- Ernest P. Worell: Now, now, now, now, now, it's possible. You take the International Date Line, multiply it by the Time Zones, divided by the accelerated rotation of the...” (continue)(continue reading)
Noelle Parker - Harmony
Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell