Soccer quotes

“What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage?”
Danny Dyer - Tommy Johnson

“- Paul Ashworth: Leave it up to Arsenal to score one goal when they need two.
- Steve: You want them to score the second goal before they score the first?”
Colin Firth - Paul Ashworth
Mark Strong - Steve

“- Paul's Dad: We don't have to go to Arsenal every time I'm in London, do we? I thought we'd be beyond that stage now.
- Young Paul: We'll never be beyond that stage.”
Neil Pearson - Paul's Dad
Luke Aikman - Young Paul

“In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross
his goal. In baseball the object is to go home.”
George Carlin

“- Captain Robert Hatch - The Players: U.S.A.: Where do I stand for a corner kick?
- Capt. John Colby - The Players: England: At the far post, facing the ball.
- Captain Robert Hatch - The Players: U.S.A.: Thanks. For a while there I thought you were keeping it a secret.”

Sylvester Stallone - Captain Robert Hatch - The Players: U.S.A.
Sir Michael Caine - Capt. John Colby - The Players: England

“- Tamara: Don't tell me you'd rather go to football.
- Rod: Well, I am male.”
Sophie Linfield - Tamara
Neil Maskell - Rod

“Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.”
Tom Greening - Gord Brody

“- Chester Lee: He's playing like a psycho, he's nuts!
- Julie Benson: Looks like Norman Bates is playing soccer.
- Chester Lee: Hey, after the game no showers.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Chester Lee
Jackée Harry - Julie Benson

“This frigging game is ruining my life.”

Sylvester Stallone - Captain Robert Hatch - The Players: U.S.A.