Theater quotes

“Everything's all nice and paranormal here.”

Carol Burnett - Dotty Otley

“- Marie: Restaurants are to people in the 80's what theatres were to people in the 60's. I read that in a magazine.
- Jess: I wrote that.”
Carrie Fisher - Marie
Bruno Kirby - Jess

“- Dr. Watson: It's a damn disgrace!
- Sherlock Holmes: On the contrary. I prefer bad manners in the theater to active violence in the streets.”

James Mason - Dr. Watson
Christopher Plummer - Sherlock Holmes

“If it wasn't for Jews, fags, and gypsies, there would be no theater.”
Mel Brooks - Dr. Frederick Bronski

“- Mathew J. Clark: I've often thought I might like to devote myself to the theater. Would you think there might be a place for me?
- Oliver Webb: Oh yes, yes. Probably fill a long-felt want.”
Etienne Girardot - Mathew J. Clark
Walter Connolly - Oliver Webb

“- Viola De Lesseps: I do remember well where I should be, and there I am... where is my Romeo?
- Nurse: [shouting from the audience] Dead!”

Gwyneth Paltrow - Viola De Lesseps
Imelda Staunton - Nurse

“- Fuzzy: Why don't you send your face to Washington and have it copyrighted?
- Mona Marshall: It is copyrighted. For years, my face has been on the sidewalk, in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
- Fuzzy: Well why don't you leave it there?”

Ted Healy - Fuzzy
Lola Lane - Mona Marshall

“I still think it's a terrible play, but it makes a wonderful rehearsal.”
Chico Marx - Harry Binelli

“227 Lears... 227 performances of King Lear and I can't remember the first line.”
Albert Finney - Sir

“Love! He talks just like one of the characters in his play.”

Groucho Marx - Gordon Miller

“What he did to Hamlet, we are now doing to Poland.”

Charles Durning - Col. Erhardt