Tools quotes

“Lying can be a very effective dating tool.”
Dave Foley - Troy

“It's a dinglehopper. Humans use these little babies to straighten their hair out. See? Just a little twirl here and a yank there and voila. You've got an aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair that humans go nuts over.”
Buddy Hackett - Scuttle

“- John Plummer: Duff? Don't you think you're taking a little bit too much off the top?
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: John, I know what I’m doing okay? I've got to taper it so the sunlight reaches the lower leaves during the growing season!
- John Plummer: What about that string there?
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: The string is a guide John. It's just a...” (continue)(continue reading)

Jason Lee - John Plummer
Tom Greening - Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy

“Gentlemen, even comic book villains like us can tell if you want the job done you need to buy a Japanese product!”
Lisa Gaye - Malfaire

- Dr. Emmett Brown: No wonder this circuit failed. It says "Made in Japan".
- Marty McFly: What do you mean, Doc? All the best stuff is made in Japan.
- Dr. Emmett Brown: Unbelievable.
Chris Lloyd - Dr. Emmett Brown
Michael J. Fox - Marty McFly

“- Powell: How do a bunch of guys with hand tools build all this?
- Benjamin Franklin Gates: Same way they built the pyramids and the Great Wall of China.
- Riley Poole: Yeah... the aliens helped them.”

Stewart Finlay-McLennan - Powell
Nicolas Cage - Benjamin Franklin Gates
Justin Bartha - Riley Poole

“You bring the equipment, I'll bring my balls.”
Kiefer Sutherland - Nelson Wright

“That's, ahh... that's a surfboard all right! Looks like a '57 Chevy I used to have.”
Patrick Swayze - Bodhi

“- Connor: Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.
- Murphy: Absolutely. What are ya, insane?
- Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
- Murphy: What?
- Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.”

Sean Patrick Flanery - Connor MacManus
Norman Reedus - Murphy MacManus

“You're gonna knock over a bank with a Magic Marker? What are you gonna do, write on 'em?”
Billy Bob Thornton - Terry Collins

“More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.”

Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“Speech is man's most important tool for the conveyance of thought.”
Tim Curry - Dr. Poole

“Eagle Eyes. Nine enhanced-vision modes. Every little boy's dream: the penetrator mode.”

Michael Roof - Toby Lee Shavers

“- Doyle Hargraves: What in the hell you doin' with that hammer?
- Karl Childers: I don't rightly know. I just kinda woke up holding it.”

Dwight Yoakam - Doyle Hargraves
Billy Bob Thornton - Karl Childers

“What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!”

Owen Wilson - Dignan

“- Captain Davenport: They're pinging away with their active sonar like they're looking for something, but nobody's listening.
- Jack Ryan: What do you mean?
- Captain Davenport: Well, they're moving at almost forty knots. At that speed, they could run right over my daughter's stereo and not hear it.”
Daniel Davis - Captain Davenport
Alec Baldwin - Jack Ryan

- Genie: First, you have to hold the lamp...
- Louie: Yeah?
- Genie: Then, say, "I wish".
- Huey: Yeah?
- Genie: Then wish for something.
- Huey: That's all?
- Dewey: Boy! It's even user-friendly!
Rip Taylor - Genie
Russi Taylor - Louie
Russi Taylor - Huey
Russi Taylor - Dewey

“- Sex Shop Salesman: Le Orgy Gel comes in lemon, mint, cherry or trail mix.
- Paul Bland: Trail mix?
- Sex Shop Salesman: I was making a joke.”
John Paragon - Sex Shop Salesman
Paul Bartel - Paul Bland

- Freddy Shoop: Francis Gremp?
- Francis 'Chainsaw' Gremp: Don't ever call me that, the name's "Chainsaw".
- Freddy Shoop: As in "Black and Decker"?
- Francis 'Chainsaw' Gremp: As in "Texas Massacre".

Mark Harmon - Freddy Shoop
Dean Cameron - Francis 'Chainsaw' Gremp

“- Freb: The corner of Wiltern and Wetherley... Tumbler messed up, he said the Porsche should be at the corner of Wiltern and Wetherly.
- Kip Raines: There it is.
- Mirror Man: You're bullshitting me, right? 9024 Wiltern?
- Kip Raines: I gotta get my tool.
- Mirror Man: Kip! He ain't bullshitting, man!
[Kip opens the boot, retrieves half a...” (continue)(continue reading)

James Duval - Freb
Giovanni Ribisi - Kip Raines
T.J. Cross - Mirror Man

“- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Mama, Vicky is an astrologist.
- Helen 'Mama' Boucher: I don't believe in that sort of thing personally. Astrology is one of the many tools of the devil.”
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.
Kathy Bates - Helen 'Mama' Boucher

“The enemas take some getting used to, but, in time, you'll learn to look forward to them like an old friend with a cold nose.”
John Neville - Endymion Hart-Jones

“- Doug Kinney: I'm gonna buy you something.
- Doug Kinney: A chainsaw?
- Doug Kinney: Or a book.”
Michael Keaton - Doug Kinney
Michael Keaton - Doug Kinney

“Make sure you're not involved, woncha? ‘Cause I'll put a tool right in your belly!”
Roger Daltrey - John McVicar

“- Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double-beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.
- The Old Man Parker: All right, I'll get that kid to eat. Where's my screwdriver and my plumber's helper? I'll open up his mouth and I'll shove it in.”
Ian Petrella - Randy
Darren McGavin - The Old Man Parker