Unemployment quotes

“Things won't be great again. I've been looking for months and I haven't had one job offer, not one.”

Ben Affleck - Bobby Walker

“- Carter: I'm gonna have to let some people go.
- Dan: Why do you say let them go? They don't want to go. Why don't you just say fire them?
- Carter: Because it sounds better.
- Dan: Not to the person getting fired.”
Christopher Grace - Carter
Dennis Quaid - Dan

“- Richard Samuels: Think of this as an investment, mother. An investment in my future as some kind of artist.
- Grandmother Samuels: Like your Uncle Frank. He never kept a steady job his whole life.”
Zac Efron - Richard Samuels
Marlene Sidaway - Grandmother Samuels

“We are offering an alternative lifestyle for young people seeking inner peace through meditation... prayer... and forfeiture of all worldly possessions. Perhaps you and the rest of your staff might be interested in joining our church. You may find yourselves seeking a new direction in life, now that you will be... unemployed. Good day!”

Jon Rashad Kamal - Eric Greene

“If I don't see White and then the exterminators in the span of a half an hour you will have no job by midnight tonight. Do you understand me? Then next year you can take the wife and kids to Disney World on your fucking welfare check. Have you got that? Are we together on this?”

E.G. Marshall - Upson Pratt

“- Sir Mortimer Chris: I was visiting a factory in Stockport. Literally hundreds had lost their jobs, and no wonder, the place was crawling with them.
- Nigel Lipman: With pixies?
- Sir Mortimer Chris: Yes; sprites, elven folk. Which is why I am beginning this campaign.”

Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris
Richard Wilson - Nigel Lipman

“Many say that unemployment is the result of government mismanging and underspending. Nothing can be further from the truth. We all know the real cause of unemployment, don't we gentlemen? Unemployment, in this country, is caused by pixies.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“Having established the root cause of unemployment, we now need to come up with a job creation program. I have devised an idea that will create millions of new jobs within the first year of operation. Every week, five hundred working people jump off a cliff, thus creating five hundred new jobs.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“I don't believe in hell. I believe in unemployment, but not hell.”
Dustin Hoffman - Michael Dorsey

“- Unemployment Official: Mr. Rabbitte, you've been collecting unemployment benefit for two years. Are you trying to tell me you can't get a job?
- Jimmy Rabbitte: We're a third world country - what can you do?”
Pat Leavy - Unemployment Official
Robert Arkins - Jimmy Rabbitte

“- Director: Get off of my set, and out of my picture. Off, off! You're washed up, you're finished! I'll see to it that you never make another movie again!
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Does that include television, sir?”
Herbert Ellis - Director
Peter Sellers - Hrundi V. Bakshi

“What the hell am I gonna tell my wife? I mean she already wears the pants, now she's gonna wear the tie and jacket too.”

David Paymer - Morty

“- Pat Riley: So... did I tell you I'm unemployed?
- Kathy Griffin: Yea, uh, about 400 times.
- Pat Riley: Say, do you think you could make an announcement about it at the radio station?
- Kathy Griffin: Absolutely not.
- Pat Riley: Ok, well think about it, but when you do make the announcement let me know. I want to tell my friends to tune in....” (continue)(continue reading)
Julia Sweeney - Pat Riley
Kathy Griffin - Herself

“All the problems we're hearing about tonight, the unemployment, the drugs, the street crimes, those will always be the highest when they people have the least education.”
Joe Morton - Wynn

“- Preston: Wyatt, I'm broke. I can't live on nothing.
- Wyatt: And I can't live on ten-percent of nothing.
- Preston: You're a monster.
- Wyatt: I'm an agent. For an agent, being a monster is just credentials.”
James Remar - Preston
Robert Klein - Wyatt

“I've been offered a choice between no job and a job no one would want.”
Jack Nicholson - Will Randall

“- Tom Baxter: I guess I have to get a job.
- Cecilia: That's not gonna be so easy either, right now the whole country's out of work.
- Tom Baxter: Well, then, we'll live on love. We'll have to make some concessions, but so what? We'll have each other.
- Cecilia: That's movie talk.”
Jeff Daniels - Tom Baxter
Mia Farrow - Cecilia

“It was summer 1948, and I needed money. After goin' door-to-door all day long, I was back again at Joppy's bar trying to figure out where I was gonna go looking for work the next day.”
Denzel Washington - Easy Rawlins

“- Female Interviewer: Last place of employment?
- Nada: Denver, Colorado. I worked there for ten years and things just seemed to dry up. They lost fourteen banks in one week. So, well...
- Female Interviewer: There's nothing available for you right now.”
Lucille Meredith - Female Interviewer
Roddy Piper - Nada

“- Mrs. B: Brett is a very nice hard working man. I wish the two of you were more like Brett Weir.
- Johnny: Ah, come on. It's not like we ain't had jobs. What about the mason's job we had a ways back?”
Suzanne Shepherd - Mrs. B
John G. Brennan - Himself

“- Ben Jahveri: Oh, now, now we are un-employers.
- Fred: Oh, look, we still got all of the robot parts in the van; I can get a new staff together...
- Ben Jahveri: But we are having no more money and now we are having no equipment. To assemble the robots with our naked hands, it would be slower than - than moles' asses in January.”
Fisher Stevens - Ben Jahveri
Michael McKean - Fred Ritter

“- Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit: If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?
- Rat #1: We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles!
- Rat #2: Our assets are frozen!
- Scrooge: How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... unemployed?”
Steve Whitmire - Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit
Dave Goelz - Rat #1
Jerry Nelson - Rat #2
Sir Michael Caine - Scrooge

“- Alan: So, tell me, Todd, what have you been up to lately?
- Todd: Well, I was up in Seattle for a while... I finally found a backer for my solar-powered hot dog stands! Then it rained for 60 days in a row, the guy backed out, so... I just been traveling around, staying with friends.”
Michael David Wright - Alan
Bruce Greenwood - Todd

“- Stephen Simmons: They found out I spent time in that mental hospital.
- Lois Simmons: Well, did you tell them you went into that hospital voluntary for nightmares?
- Stephen Simmons: Nothing personal, they said. Law says you can't work for the city or state within the vicinity of children if you've spent time in a mental hospital or corrective...” (continue)(continue reading)
Kevin Costner - Stephen Simmons
Mare Winningham - Lois Simmons

“- Younger Cop: Was there anything of value in the car?
- The Dude: Yeah... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was my briefcase.
- Younger Cop: In the briefcase?
- The Dude: Papers, you know... my papers, business papers.
- Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?
- The Dude: I'm unemployed.”
Christian Clemenson - Younger Cop
Jeff Bridges - The Dude