Bruce Campbell movie quotes

“Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Bruce Campbell - Ashley "Ash" J. Williams (Evil Dead series)

“- Wiseman: When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?
- Ash: Yeah, basically.
- Wiseman: Did you speak the exact words?
- Ash: Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.”

Ian Abercrombie - Wiseman
Bruce Campbell - Ashley "Ash" J. Williams (Evil Dead series)

- Duke Henry the Red: You Sir, are not one of my vassals... who are you?
- Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: Who wants to know?
- Duke Henry the Red: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
- Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two... (continue)(continue reading)
Bruce Campbell - Ashley "Ash" J. Williams (Evil Dead series)
Richard Grove - Duke Henry the Red

“I know you're scared; we're all scared, but that doesn't mean we are cowards. We can take these skeletons, we can take them, with science.”

Bruce Campbell - Ashley "Ash" J. Williams (Evil Dead series)

“Is there finally and really anything to life other than food, shit and sex?”
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

“I felt my pecker flutter once, like a pigeon havin' a heart attack, then lay back down and remain limp and still. Of course, these days even a flutter was kinda reassurin'.”

Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

“- Ring Announcer: What's your name, kid?
- Peter Parker: The Human Spider.
- Ring Announcer: The Human Spider? That's it? That's the best you've got?
- Peter Parker: Yeah.
- Ring Announcer: Oh, that sucks. ...The sum of three-thousand dollars will be paid to... the terrifying... the deadly... the amazing Spider-Man!”
Bruce Campbell - Ring Announcer
Tobey Maguire - Peter Parker

I had a wonderful girlfriend Linda. Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: "Necronomiconexmortis". "The Book of the Dead". Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Samarian text contained bizarre burial rights, funeral... (continue)(continue reading)
Bruce Campbell - Ashley "Ash" J. Williams (Evil Dead series)

“- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Hey, what do you say we have some champagne, huh, baby?
- Linda: Sure.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... at least last time I checked.”
Bruce Campbell - Ashley "Ash" J. Williams
Denise Bixler - Linda

“- Elvis Presley: No offense, Jack, but President Kennedy was a white man.
- Jack: They dyed me this color! That's how clever they are!”
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley
Ossie Davis - Jack

“If you go to Hollywood, you've already sold out.”
Bruce Campbell

“I see parody as another form of comedy.”
Bruce Campbell

“Actors who say they can dive inside a character are either schizophrenic or lying.”
Bruce Campbell

“Where'd my youth go? Why didn't fame hold off old age and death? Why the hell did I leave the fame in the first place and do I want it back, and could I have it back? And if I could, would it make any damned difference?”
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

“My God, man. How long have I been here? Am I really awake, or am I just dreamin' I'm awake? How could my plans have gone so wrong?”
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

“Always the questions. Never the answers. Always the hopes... never the fulfillments.”
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

- Elvis Presley: Now the two key words for tonight - "caution" and "flammable".
- Jack: Also "watch your ass".
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley
Ossie Davis - Jack

“- Jack: No time for regrets, Elvis. We were the best fathers we could be under the circumstances.
- Elvis Presley: Yeah, I guess, no time for regrets. We got business to take care of.”
Ossie Davis - Jack
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

“- Nancy: I'm not that kind of girl!
- Renaldo 'the Heel': Well, with a little practice you could learn to be.”
Sheree J. Wilson - Nancy
Bruce Campbell - Renaldo 'The Heel'

“- Renaldo 'the Heel': Well, maybe I'm a heel.
- Vic Ajax: Maybe I'm a guy who hates heels.
- Renaldo 'the Heel': Maybe I'm a heel who hates guys who hate heels.”
Bruce Campbell - Renaldo 'The Heel'
Reed Birney - Vic Ajax

“In the movies, I always played the heroic types. But when the stage lights went out, it was time for drugs, and stupidity, and the coveting of women. Now it's time. Time to be a little of what I had always fantasized of bein' - a hero.”
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

- Callie: Why would you want to leave all that fame, Mr. Presley? All that money?
- Elvis Presley: I don't know. 'Cause they got old. The woman I loved, Priscilla, she was gone. The rest of the women... were just women. I mean, the music wasn't even mine anymore. Hell, I wasn't even me anymore, just this thing they made up. And my "friends"...... (continue)(continue reading)
Heidi Marnhout - Callie
Bruce Campbell - Elvis Presley

“Taste my steel, you dog!”
Bruce Campbell - Roland the Intrepid Explorer

“Distracts me? A beautiful woman lying naked in a bathtub? Where was I?”
Bruce Campbell - Autolycus

- Old Woman: I'll swallow your soul!
- Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: Come get some.

Sara Shearer - Old Woman
Bruce Campbell - Ashley "Ash" J. Williams (Evil Dead series)