Cameron Diaz movie quotes

“- Reiner: Are you really that cold?
- Malkina: The truth has no temperature.”
Javier Bardem - Reiner
Cameron Diaz - Malkina

“- Robert Lewis: Don't ask where I'm going.
- Celine Naville: Don't even imagine that I care.
- Robert Lewis: Exactly the problem!”
Ewan McGregor - Robert Lewis
Cameron Diaz - Celine Naville

- Roy Miller: I did warn you not to get on the plane.
- June Havens: When? How?
- Roy Miller: When I said, "Sometimes things happen for a reason".
- June Havens: That's not a warning, Roy! That's like a saying on a bumper sticker. Next time, try, "June, if you get on that plane, you will freaking die!".
Tom Cruise - Roy Miller
Cameron Diaz - June Havens

- Mary: I want a guy who can play 36 holes of golf, and still have enough energy to take Warren and me to a baseball game, and eat sausages, and beer, not lite beer, but beer. That's my ad, print it up.
- Brenda: "Fatty who likes golf and beer". Gee, Mary, where are you gonna find a gem like that?
Cameron Diaz - Mary
Sarah Silverman - Brenda

“- Princess Fiona: You didn't slay the dragon?
- Shrek: It's on my to-do list, now come on!
- Princess Fiona: But this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banners flying! That's what all the other knights did!
- Shrek: Right before they burst into flame!”

Cameron Diaz - Princess Fiona
Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Donkey: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her that quick - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?
- Princess Fiona: Just tell her she's not your true love!”
Eddie Murphy - Donkey
Cameron Diaz - Princess Fiona

“I'm not interested in you, or your novel, or any other pathetic ambition you have to change your miserable, mundane existence.”

Cameron Diaz - Celine Naville

- Elizabeth Halsey: Black citizens, who allege that your test are biased toward white people and orientals.
- Carl Halabi: Okay. Lemme tell you something right away. "A"... Orientals test better. "B"... every couple of years we get these cockamamie charges coming in from various parts of the state and - lemme duh-dat - You should hear the things... (continue)(continue reading)
Cameron Diaz - Elizabeth Halsey
Thomas Lennon - Carl Halabi

“- Christina: How are you stuck?
- Andy: I have a piercing [the entire crowd recoils in shock] ...
- San Francisco Policeman: I don't get it, how are they stuck?
- Male bystander: Behind her tonsils ...
- San Francisco Policeman: How do you know that?
[Awkward silence]”

Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Frank Grillo - Andy
Rick Evans - San Francisco Policeman #2

“Wanna hear some poetry? There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!”
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters

“- Chad: There's only one captain of this love boat. That captain is me. The Chad.
- Natalie Cook: The Chad. Chad, captain of the love boat...
- Chad: [correcting Natalie Cook] The Chad.
- Natalie Cook: We're kind of in a hurry.”
Tom Greening - Chad
Cameron Diaz - Natalie Cook

“- Peter: If you don't mind I'd like to do that every hour on the hour for the rest of our lives.
- Christina: Of course, go right ahead.
- Peter: And don't worry about returning the favor, men don't really like oral sex.
- Christina: Yeah, right.
- Peter: I'm serious, it's just a horrible rumor that got started back sometime in the 1950's.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)

Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Thomas Jane - Peter Donahue

“I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal, y'know, sort of like, it's like, like he has a vagina. It's sort of vaginal, y'know, like he has a, he has a penis and a vagina. I mean, it's sort of like... Malkovich's... feminine side. I like that.”
Cameron Diaz - Lotte Schwartz

“I can spend hours in a grocery store. I get so excited when I see food, I go crazy. I spend hours arranging my baskets so that everything fits in and nothing gets squashed. I'm really anal about it, actually.”
Cameron Diaz

“- Courtney: Maybe it's you. Did somethin' crawl up your poonani?
- Christina: Hey! I have never had any complaints in the poonani odor department!
- Courtney: Yeah! Well neither have I, okay!
- Christina: High five on the clean poonani!
- Courtney: [gives high five] Bitch!”
Christina Applegate - Courtney Rockcliffe
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters

“I don't want to go to work and get into bed with someone else, not even Tom Cruise. It's not like I enjoy it.”
Cameron Diaz

“- Heather: Look where your decency has gotten you. You are the only English-speaking white guy driving a cab in New York. That should tell you something.
- Mickey Fitzpatrick: You know what Heather, I gotta imagine it beats sucking dick for a living though, huh?”
Cameron Diaz - Heather
Edward Burns - Mickey Fitzpatrick

“- Celine Naville: So you're telling me that successful relationships are made in Heaven? Not founded on the daily practicality of two people being prepared to tolerate the imperfections of one another?
- Robert Lewis: It's not successful relationships, Celine. It's love. And it comes from a strange and wonderful place that we don't know about.”
Cameron Diaz - Celine Naville
Ewan McGregor - Robert Lewis

“- Jane: He dumped me....Kevin dumped meeee!
- Christina: Oh sweetie...
- Jane: A day before our one year anniversary...
- Christina: Well you know, he's probably just going through a rough stage.
- Courtney: Yeah, he'll call you tomorrow..that phone is going to be ringing.
- Jane: Noooo!! He said he's been wanting this for six months and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Selma Blair - Jane Burns
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Christina Applegate - Courtney Rockcliffe

“A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. That's what I know.”
Cameron Diaz - Elizabeth Halsey

“- Christina: I did come to your wedding because I wanted to see you again. Because the feeling is mutual, and you'd better be a really good kisser. [Christina and Peter kiss.] Wow. That was weak.
- Peter: Weak?
- Christina: It's okay. You can try again.”
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Thomas Jane - Peter Donahue

“Shoes like these should not be locked in a closet! They should be living a life of scandal, and passion, and getting screwed in an alleyway by a billionaire while his frigid wife waits in the limo thinking that he just went back into the bar to get his cellphone. These are cute too.”
Cameron Diaz - Maggie

- Carol: God says to Adam: "Adam, I have something for you, but it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg". Adam thinks for a moment, then decides: "What can you give me for a rib?".
- Kathy: That's funny. Where did you hear it?
- Carol: From the Bible.
Cameron Diaz - Carol Faber
Amy Brenneman - Detective Kathy Faber

“I want what any princess wants; to live happily ever after with the ogre I married.”
Cameron Diaz - Princess Fiona

“- Tina Carlyle: Thanks.
- Stanley Ipkiss: For what?
- Tina Carlyle: Lots of things. Sharing the sunset with me. For being the only guy whose ever treated me like a person and not some sort of party favor. For being any kind of romantic. Even a hopeless one.
- Stanley Ipkiss: You're welcome.
- Tina Carlyle: You know that night at the club? I knew...” (continue)(continue reading)
Cameron Diaz - Tina Carlyle
Jim Carrey - Stanley Ipkiss