Dudley Moore movie quotes

“- Arthur Bach: I hate it here!
- Hobson: Of course you hate it. People work here.”

Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Sir John Gielgud - Hobson

“- Emory Leeson: Take me away from here. I’ll buy you dinner, I'll buy you a restaurant!
- Stephen Bachman: I have to go.
- Emory Leeson: You did quite a bit of silent farting in the car, so you're not perfect either.”
Dudley Moore - Emory Leeson
Paul Reiser - Stephen Bachman

“- Arthur Bach: Want a drink?
- Burt Johnson: I never drink. No one in my family ever drinks.
- Arthur Bach: That's great! You probably never run out of ice your whole life!”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Stephen Elliott - Burt Johnson

“- Susan Johnson: A real woman could stop you from drinking.
- Arthur Bach: It'd have to be a real big woman.”
Jill Eikenberry - Susan Johnson
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach

“- Policeman: You better take it easy. Pain pills and alcohol don't mix.
- George Webber: You could have fooled me.”
William Lucking - Policeman
Dudley Moore - George Webber

“All I can tell you is, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach

“- Arthur Bach: I've never taken care of anybody. Everybody's always taken care of me. But if you got sick, or anything, I'd take care of you.
- Linda Marolla: Then I'll get sick.”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Liza Minnelli - Linda Marolla

- Arthur Bach: Oh, stay with me, Hobson. You know I hate to be alone.
- Hobson: Yes, bathing is a lonely business.
- Arthur Bach: Except for fish.
- Hobson: I beg your pardon? Did you say "except for fish"?
- Arthur Bach: Yes... fish all bathe together. Although they do tend to eat one another. I often think... fish must get awfully tired of... (continue)(continue reading)
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Sir John Gielgud - Hobson

- George Webber: If you were dancing with your wife, or girlfriend you knew in high school, and you said to her: "Darling, they're playing our song", do you know what they'd be playing?
- Donald: What?
- George Webber: Why Don't We Do It In The Road. Fuckin' hell kind of era is that?
Dudley Moore - George Webber
Brian Dennehy - Donald

“The best car safety device is a rear-viewmirror with a cop in it.”
Dudley Moore

“- Maude Salinger: Come on, Gorilla, kill that son of a bitch!
- Rob Salinger: Gorilla Muldoon, is your father?
- Maude Salinger: That's not his real name.”

Amy Irving - Maude Salinger
Dudley Moore - Rob Salinger

“- Arthur Bach: What are you doing later tonight?
- Linda Marolla: Oh, I have plans for tonight. What should I wear?
- Hobson: Steal something casual.”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Liza Minnelli - Linda Marolla
Sir John Gielgud - Hobson

“- Claude Eastman: Will you miss younger men?
- Daniella Eastman: The truth?
- Claude Eastman: No!
- Daniella Eastman: Younger men are like fast food restaurants. The food is fast, but it's not all that good. But, with you it's like dining in the most expensive restaurant in the world. Of course, the service may be a little slow...
- Claude...” (continue)(continue reading)
Dudley Moore - Claude Eastman
Nastassja Kinski - Daniella Eastman

“- B.Z.: This stardust, this reindeer cornflakes. What would happen if we were to juice up the formula, make it stronger?
- Patch: Well, it's self-explanatory it would make them fly!”
John Lithgow - B.Z.
Dudley Moore - Patch

“She stole that tie! It's the prefect crime; girls don't wear ties! Although some do; it's not a perfect crime, but it's a good crime.”

Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach

“Fat girls tend to come a lot.”
Dudley Moore - Wylie Cooper

“- Rob Salinger: I don't want to divorce, Micki, I just want to marry Maude.
- Leo Brody: You can't have your cake and eat it too.
- Rob Salinger: I've been with her for ten years. I can't give them up just like that. And it's have your cake and eat it too.”
Dudley Moore - Rob Salinger
Richard Mulligan - Leo Brody

“- Arthur Bach: Have you ever been on a yacht?
- Linda Marolla: No, is it wonderful?
- Arthurt Bach: It doesn't suck.”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Liza Minnelli - Linda Marolla

“I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.”
Dudley Moore

“- Gloria: My mother died when I was six.
- Arthur Bach: Son of a bitch! Don't they know what they do to kids?
- Gloria: My father raped me when I was twelve.
- Arthur Bach: So, you had six relatively good years? I'm sorry. Listen, my father screwed me, too.”
Anne De Salvo - Gloria
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach

“- Arthur Bach: [soliciting a prostitute] What I had in mind was spending the night with a stranger who loves me.
- Gloria: Gonna cost you a hundred bucks.
- Arthur Bach: Oh, yeah? What time do you get off?
[bursts out laughing]
- Arthur Bach: Oh, that's funny!”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Anne De Salvo - Gloria

“- George Webber: By what name are you known, sir?
- Donald: Donald. Don, to my friends and paying customers.
- George Webber: In that case, I'll have another double Don. Double Don, God, that's going to be difficult to say by the shank of the evening. Better make that one a single.”
Dudley Moore - George Webber
Brian Dennehy - Donald

“You're a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing great with you!”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach

“- Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?
- B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.
- Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.”
Dudley Moore - Patch
John Lithgow - B.Z.

- Arthur Bach: What can I do Hobson? I mean what would you do if you were me?
- Hobson: The word "bathe" comes to mind.
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Sir John Gielgud - Hobson